Fussy eaters. help!

[nellyjelly]

DD is 7' DS is 3 and are both very fussy. They don't even like the same few things they eat. For instance, DD likes beans, DS doesn't. DD likes pasta, DS doesn't. There are so few things they will eat, preparing a meanl for both is a nightmare.

I have begun To simply give them food and if they don't eat it then take it away but refuse them pudding or other snacks later.

Any other suggestions on how tonget them to eat the same and vary their diets a bit more too.

i have this issue, my mother also had this issue lol. spoke to hv and they confirmed what i was thinking, they will not starve themselves :) told me to prepare the meal i am planning, obviously with the view that everyone likes or will like (irrespective of what we are told, especially if its something they've never eaten before) some component. if they dont eat an accpetable amount or any at all, take it away, fruit is healthy if you cant stand the thought of them not eating, but they eat nothing else, the plate remains infront of them and they remain at the table. dont encourage them or compare (ie look at dd isnt she doing well eating her tea) just ignore it. when everyone is finished offer one last opportunity and remind they get nothing else. if they refuse they dont eat and if they eat mummy wins :)

the other thing i tried was reading supermarket meal time planners to stop dinner being the same old thing.

My dd is really fussy and has been for some time, its sort of a work in progress.

Here's some of the things we do.

I meal plan and each child gets to help and choose at least one meal a week.

This one I've nicked from my lovely Dsil. Each child gets to choose 2 foods that they absolutely can't tolerate, ingredients rather than a meal. You promise to never serve them, so the DC have the reassurance that their mot dreaded thing won't turn up on their plate, but they have to try everything else. Dd chose baked beans and mushy peas.

I keep the fruit bowl fairly full and if they are hungry between meals that's what they get.

The food is served and we eat and chat but refuse to get drawn on conversations about what she will, or rather wont eat. Things like I won't eat that is just ignored or gets an ok and a change of subject.

After about 20 mins we clear away. I always eat with the children, DH does too when he's home.

DH has this book. He likes to choose a meal and help prepare it for the whole family. Perhaps your library might have some children's cookery books to try?

Thanks for the ideas. I don't eat with the children on days I work as no time but we eatn together on my day off and weekends.

Will try the meal planner idea but DS only 2 so wo't be able to verbalise his lokes mich beyond 'cake'!

I'd let the older one have a choice then and use the cookery book idea with him too. Sounds like the younger one is going to have to get used to the idea that food is served and if you are hungry, you eat it

Have you read My Child Won't Eat by Carlos Gonzalez? It was recommended to me when my dd was younger.

Its a shame you can't all eat together too, it really does seem to help.

I hold an alternative view.

If you invited friends over for tea... would you make them food that they didn't like?

dont YOU ever 'fancy' something?
dont you ever go off things?

why do we force kids to eat what they don't like?
so long as they aren't eating junk and sweets instead of food, then i don't see the problem with feeding them what they will eat.

top it up with a multivitamin if you must, but do you really want a fight on your hands three times a day.

That's fine tomorrow unless they refuse everything, then epwhat do you feed them? Dd says she doesn't like any meals apart from McDonald's and I ain't taking her there 3 times a day. There's no fight anyway, she soon got used to the idea that there's nothing else coming her way.

they wont refuse EVERYTHING.

My DD is very fussy over food and has complicated rules about what food can touch and what food cant... even she will eat about 5 things

My 3 year old has fussy phases but I ignore. Sometimes it actually that he's tired and wants comfort food, not new foods. I'm exactly the same. If DH dares to cook something different when all I want is something I know, I get grumpy (but don't tell him as that's rude).

So with ds, I encourage him to try two bites. And 9/10 (especially if it's something he's eaten before), he will eat.

I also mix it up a bit and try and bring in new meals which are based on what he does like. So he loves meatballs in tomato sauce. I've branched out to Spanish chicken (chicken in tom sauce with sweet peppers chopped up) and chicken curry (chicken with very mild curry powder with tomato sauce and a bit of coconut milk). He likes salmon so he has fish pie and fish cakes. He likes home made pizza so give that and try and get various toppings.

So we're getting there. And in between meals if he's hungry he can have decent snacks like hummus, cubes of cheese, bananas, yoghurt - as fruit doesn't keep him going long and he just gets grumpy come meal times. I also give him smaller portions too so he can ask for more if he wants.

Obviously you haven't net my dd! We used to give her what she liked but it ended up being nothing, literally nothing. That's when we started doing as posted above. Its been a long process but it did have instant results. Was amazed the other night when she sat at at friends house and ate a curry without a word of complaint.

We do the smaller portions too creature, dd has always been overwhelmed by bigger portions.

Think I'm happy with the fruit between meals as mine are older.

i think that you will find that once she has choice, instead of having food forced on her, she will pick.

you could start off with the choice of two either fish finger dinner or sausage dinner....

would you go into a restaurant and just accept what was placed in front of you?

Think we will have to agree to disagree on that one tomorrow we tried all of that with our dd. vs he would choose one and then scream after it was cooked that she wanted the other. After years of battling just cooking the food and putting it on the table was very liberating. Dd also eats much, much better too and family mealtimes are more enjoyable.

And I ain't running a restaurant, just as when they get to be teenagers I'll probably be saying that I'm not running a hotel either

Glad is not just mine. Will try some of the ideas.

Let us know how you get on

yes, we all have our own solutions to issues, i wasn't telling anyone that they were wrong... just suggesting an alternate viewpoint.

That's fine and exactly the spirit in which I took your posts

If anyone would have told me 5 years ago that this is how I would be with dd and food I would have laughed but she is a very determined food refuser and I asked Mn total despair and was suggested the strategy above, and it worked for us but have a massive appreciation of the fact that all children and families are different and what works for us may not work for others

me too... I always swore that it would be one meal for all... until i met my wonderful dd who had spirit from the moment she was born.

I never realized they were born with their own personality.... i thought they grew into them!

Think tat wuss my longest sentence ever, sorry

They definitely come with there personalities fully formed, both of mine have been really clear about what they wanted from day 1.

My DM used to constantly comment about what a placid and happy baby she was, I just smiled and waited for the day I returned to work and DM was in charge. Dd is very happy, content and easy to look after provided everything goes her way, and God help you if it doesn't. Placid isn't a word I'd ever associate with her

Sorry for the typos