How to get dry nights

[BoysRule]

My DS1 is 3.9 and has been dry during the day for nearly a year. I want to try to get him dry at night and wanted to know your experiences with this.

He does a wee before he goes to bed at 7pm and he doesn't have a drink after his tea at 5pm. However, every morning his nappy is quite full. I have asked him if he knows he is doing a wee at night and he seems to be telling me that he wakes up and does it in his nappy (although I can't be 100% sure).

What do I need to do to get dry nights? I have had lots of conflicting advice from friends and HV. Some friends have said that it is a chemical in their brain that switches and there is no point in trying if they are not ready.

The HV said to wake him up before we go to bed and take him to the toilet.

I was intending to wait until his nappy was no longer wet over night but this just isn't happening. I know it is normal at this age and am not desperate for it to happen. I just want to make sure I am doing the right thing - do I need to be proactive or will he go dry by himself?

could you try putting him in a oull up with a potty in his room and telling him if he wakes up to wee in the potty??

*pull

He wees standing up and the bathroom is next to his room - although he is a scaredy cat and is probably too scared to go by himself in the night even with the landing light on. I could try a potty but I think he would struggle to sit on it and aim.

Does anyone do the waking up when you go to bed thing? Does this work and do they eventually not need to do it?

I think I don't understand the biology of it - at what point will needing to wee wake them up? Can children mostly go through the night without weeing? Me and DH nearly always get up but I think that is an age thing!

I had intended to wait until DS had a dry nappy in the morning (as the books recommended) but as this had not happened by the time he been dry in the day for 9 months, I decided to try a night without a nappy. And, I found he didn't wet the bed. I didn't do anything special, so think he must have just been having a massive pee in his nappy first thing in the morning.

I think a trial of nappy free every 6 months or so is worth a go to check they aren't consciously doing it, as some do as pp's experience. My dd is 6 and still in pull ups at night but was potty trained in a week at 2 no problem. I recently read that 25% of Children don't produce the hormone needed to slow down kidney function overnight until 7 so it's much more normal than you think.

There is some good advice on www.eric.org.uk/Bedwetting/info_bedwetting_wetting_parents

dd1 was reliably dry by day at 2.11
she didn't have a single dry night nappy until 4.11
then spent about a week or two with half wet, half dry
then was reliably dry at night - no wet beds, ever

My DD was dry in the day at 2.1, and at night from 2.2. I did absolutely nothing to encourage it other than offer to take the nappies away from time to time. DS is still wet at night age 5 despite my best efforts. I think they just do it when they're ready.

Just to add a bit of balance, my DS1 has only just become dry at 7.5years (with the help of a rodger alarm), DS2 is 4.5 and nowehere near dry at night. Both were dry in the day at just over 2.

If you have a look supermarkets have "night pants" for kids up to the age of fifteen, so this isn't something that at a young age every child is magically dry. Also parents NEVER admit their child is wet at night over the age of about 4 even though something like half of boys still aren't dry at night!

I did nothing to encourage dry nights. I noticed over time that the night nappies were dry every morning so I just stopped putting them on. DD was about 2.5 I couldn't believe it happened without doing anything.

I think it must be biochemical.

I was told that the being dry at night thing is due to a hormone called vasopressin, which signals to the kidneys to make less urine during the night and until your child is making enough of this hormone, they won't be dry.

Also I have heard 2 views on the 'lifting' last thing at night - some people swear by it and say it gets their child through the night, but (as with most parenting views!) I have also heard that is isn't a good thing to do because you're training your child to wee in a half asleep state, which doesn't help them to recognise the signals that their bladder needs emptying and waking up fully!

My ds was later than some of his peers (although not the latest) and wasn't reliably dry until he was 5. We ended up stopping all drinks after 6pm and having only water to drink after school, as some squashes can irritate the bladder lining or something.

What I'm trying to say is that I think it's one of those things that you just have to wait until your child is ready, and if that means pull ups at night for a while, then so be it.

My Ds was dry at night from 2.7 but since going up to next stage nursery and dropping nap is now wet at night and having accidents in the day. Nursery just say it will settle but its been a few months and no improvement

It's really interesting to hear everyone's experiences - it seems that it is so different and no size fits all.

I am not keen to do the waking up at night as I agree with the weeing half asleep thing and also I don't want to train his body clock to wake at a certain time every night.

If it is a biochemical thing then maybe I should just keep him in pull ups and wait until he is dry. I am tempted to just try a night without and see what happens - although I can only see that he will wet the bed. He goes for a remarkably long time during the day without going to the toilet though - he has been known to do 12 hours.

Honestly, BoysRule, you could have been me when DS was 3. I couldn't see how he wouldn't wet the bed as his nappy was always wet through in the morning. I can't tell you how nervous I was trying a night without a nappy - I bought a plastic sheet and had visions of myself doing non-stop sheet washing - but the reality was so different. I think it might be worth a try, especially as the better weather seems to be here at last.

Am in pretty much the same place as you OP (except DS still isn't 100% reliable in the day). One tip I read for if you do decide to try a night without nappy or pull ups was to make up the bed with a waterproof, then sheet, then another waterproof and another sheet so if there is a wet bed in the middle of the night you just strip off a layer and deal with it in the morning. Also, I have found that pull ups just aren't as absorbant as nappies and DS would frequently be sodden in the morning so we are back to using size 6 nappies and though it is full in the morning his skin is dry - he was getting bad rashes on his bum.

Just a quick update. I have been talking to him about it for a while and he is really keen not to wear nappies at night. Anyway, I heard him get up at 6.15am this morning and do a wee! He then came into bed with us at 7am (when his groclock says he is allowed!) and was as pleased as punch as he had a dry nappy.

I am going to wait until we have had a few in a row before going nappyless. He has a mattress from John Lewis with a waterproof side, so when I go for it I am going to have some old towels and clean sheets ready just in case.

Do you put pants under pyjamas or go commando?

Great news! Hopefully a step in the right direction for him, but please don't get upset (him or you!) if there are still some damp nights to come.

I bought a washable waterproof mattress cover from Dunelm, but because it takes AGES to dry when it's been washed, I also used to put a bed mat under the sheet but on top of the mattress cover as an extra waterproof layer. My ds never used to wake up when he wet the bed, it was only ever discovered in the morning, so I didn't bother with the 'layering' of sheets and bed mats that fairylights mentions (although I think it sounds like a good idea if you have a child that DOES wake up)

Finally, my ds doesn't wear pants under pyjamas, but this does mean that he wears a fresh pair every night (if he did wear pants, I might not insist on a clean pair every night)

British thing seems to be to go commando; I'm foreign so mine wear pants.