Dinnertime and my ridiculously fussy 4 yr old DS

[Behindthecandelabra]

Just after a bit of advice really. My 4 yo DS has been gradually reducing the things he will eat at dinnertime over the last couple of months and now it's literally either pasta with green pesto or fish fingers. He won't eat chips and he refuses any sort of veg. Whatever I put in front of him, he says "I didn't want that...." and cue shouting/screaming/crying. etc very tedious & frustrating.
I'm trying to be light hearted about this post and I know that a million MNers have posted similar problems before but to be honest it's driving me fekkin mad.
All I'm after is some practical advice as to what to do. I know I need to not make a big deal of it, not pressure him into eating, don't compare him with his 15 month old brother who eats anything blah blah....
BUT what should I actually DO? Do I only give him what I know he will eat? Do I carry on & cook what I want just for him to refuse it and me to chuck it in the bin? Or do I offer him what we all eat and then give him an alternative ie cereal/toast that I know he'll eat? What should I do for the best?? And will this sodding phase be over soon as I'm slowly beginning to lose it??

Thanks Sotired, we've tried taking the pressure off a bit and it seems to be helping. Lunch time yesterday I gave him pasta and sweetcorn, and he refused to eat anything until I put the sweetcorn in a separate bowl. He was hungry after an hour but then ate a decent portion of spaghetti on his own!

I'm trying to stop the snacking in between meals too.

Pesto Pasta - wow that's racy!

DS (5) also has a love of fish fingers - he even has them as his school lunch!

DD (10) was also a nightmare but she is getting loads better - and is now willing to have a try of anything. When she got to about 6 and I'd completely had enough we made a house rule of 'you have to have 2 spoonfuls' before you can leave it.

I was the same when I was little - my DM took me to GP - he said he'd yet to see any child become ill from self inflicted malnutrition in the UK - to leave me alone and I would grow out of it with no pressure to eat. Seem to have grown (and grown and grown) out of it - could do with being a bit more selective now!

DS (8) - makes up pickiness as he feels left out - this is more annoying but generally doesn't last long!

Hi all

I have s highly food resistant 5 year old. I'm going with the gentle route of always offering something he likes with something he doesn't. Gradually, he's eating more variety. Several things are helping. He has lunch in school once a week, here in France that's three courses, no choices and strict dinner ladies! Seeing other children eat is starting to affect him positively. Snacks are limited when I can, makes a big difference.

I would strongly recommend reading 'my child won't eat' by Carlos Gonzalez. It's a very reassuring read. It has just been re released in paperback and a Kindle version.

Onward and upwards!

I would agree with BabiesAreLikeBuses and it is control rather than food. I would take all emotion out of it. When he says he doesn't want it just take it away without comment and carry on eating yourself (or doing whatever you are doing). When he starts tantrum just look confused and say 'but you said that you didn't want it , so I took it away'- followed by a further, rather baffled, 'there isn't anything else- take it or leave it'. All said in a bored tone, like a broken record, and don't get drawn into an argument. Don't serve anything else. It may take a few days. I agree that it is difficult if it is your own child- I could do it quite easily, him not being mine, and he would know from my whole body language that I wasn't bothered- whereas obviously you are.
I would serve up the dinner in bowls so he can help himself-and also get him involved in the cooking.