How to help 5 week old self settle....oh, and that effing dummy!!

[ladypop]

Our 5 wk DS generally feeds and sleeps well and is a happy baby. I quickly realised when he was just a couple of days old that he was very sucky baby (compared to our first DS). He couldn't settle at night and couldn't coordinate hand to self soothe.... Reluctantly I gave him a dummy and all was well. He is also a baby that really liked to be swaddled/cuddled to sleep. So the 2 combined gives you a lovely picture of how I get him to sleep! Now, I have been really torn as I have so enjoyed that closeness and have wanted to make the most of the relaxed cuddles for 2 reasons. 1. I didn't really enjoy the first year of my first sons life and think I had mild pnd from the moment we got home from hospital and therefore can't remember having these happy, loving feelings. 2. This may well be the last time we do this and I want to make the most of this early stage before it disappears. Anyway. I digress! Problem is even if I cuddle him with dummy in until he is very sleepy but still slightly awake I can put him down and he goes off, only to wake up 10 mins later, dummy fallen out and we are back to square one. I have tried shushing/patting/singing/ rubbing etc but he doesn't really react to these approaches. I have been up and down like a yo yo tonight shoving the damn dummy back in, but I don't think I can completely blame it on that as he still startles himself with his hands all over the place when he is stirs when he had been previously been asleep/settled. In a nutshell, any suggestions!? I know people will prob suggest getting rid of dummy but I am not sure I am up to the crying and heartache esp as we have another child to consider who is probably feeling a bit out of the picture and I don't want to have to devote more time to baby at this moment in time. X

At five weeks I would just do what it takes to get him to sleep. It's far too early to worry about bad habits etc IMO.

I'm not going to suggest anything of the sort - just going to say that it is really very normal for a 5 week old to be a bit of a trial sleep wise.

I've always found that my own tinies like to be swaddled quite tightly so that they can't startle themselves awake by flapping their arms/ hands. One of mine like to be swaddled arms inside wrap, one liked arms out (she liked to sleep with her head touching the side of her cot though) and one liked arms fully tucked in but one hand out in reach of her face.

Securely wrapping them gives them a sense of security a bit like being held. And if you can use a t shirt you have worn over the basket mattress, even better.

But he's only 5 weeks. It'd be fairly unusual if he slept easily, tbh.

To be honest I'd try a different dummy. They're all different sizes and shapes, as are babies mouths, so if it won't stay in very long chances are it's not the best fit. We gave DD a dummy because of the link with SIDS prevention, but Avent, Tommee Tippee and Nuby all fell out of her mouth or didn't seem to fit right. We changed her to Mam and things were fine from then on.

Also make sure you're using the right size, dummies that are too small also fall out, that's how I knew when to go up a size!

I agree with others. I had exactly same scenario with ds2. He was too young to self sooth and we just had to get through it. I took dummies away last week (13 weeks) and had about a day and half of teaching to self sooth at night and pacing during the day. They're twins and I have an 8 year old so I had to reclaim our evenings for everyones benefit. I wouldn't have taken dummies away earlier or at all if it wasn't causing the same number of problems it was solving iyswim.
At 5 weeks I think you have to do what you have to do.

To get them to sleep I mean.

Thanks ladies, I think I am feeling less confident about this baby lark than I thought! :( it's the perfectionist in me that wants everything off to a perfect start....silly me! What you are trying to say is that things will prob start settle down as he develops and gets a bit older and not to stress? I have read other people mention mam dummies with regards better at at not falling out. Have just purchased a Swaddleme as we were using a Swaddlepod but he has grown out of it, but he seemed happy in it and I found it easier than doing the swaddling myself in blankets x

Mam dummies are very good, as are the asda little angels ones (which are actually made by nuby) and have little nobbles on to stop them falling out. I thread the ears of my daughters comforter through a spare dummy when she goes down, a friend of mine makes a ring of dummies around her son's head...