Potty training - going backwards.....

[vivat]

We toilet trained my ds just after his third birthday last November with a reasonable amount of success ie had been going on his own, with the odd accident here and there (this was after a first disastrous attempt last summer which got everyone upset so we went back to pullups).

He now is totally refusing to do poos in the toilet - you can see by his pants he is desperate, but sit him on the loo (refuses the potty point blank) and he sits there without trying, then 5 mins later does one in his pants. He did this four times yesterday and two or three times a day for the past week. As you can imagine this is driving me up the wall. Shall i just put him back in pullups and wait for this phase to pass. I wondered whether it is hurting him, so have been liberally applying cream etc, but he is just refusing to do them in the toilet - help anyone ?!!!!

I just went through the same exact experience with my son. Absoltely do not put the pull ups back on him. He will revert back. At first I felt bad...thinking he was having accidents. Then I realized from his behavior that it was on purpose to get my attention. I thought about time out and then thought it probably wasn't the best route to go. So every time he went poo poo in his pants we talked about how this made mommy dissapointed since I knew that my Big Boy knew how to use the pody. My husband and I started praising each other for going poo poo in the pody and we got treats. After about 3 days he decided he wanted us to clap and say 'Good Job' for him followed by a treat.

I've just logged on to write an identical plea. My son is was 3 in December and been fairly reliable with weeing for 3 months but point blank refuses to poo on the loo or potty. If I manage to get him in to the bathroom when I spot he is planning a furtive poo (he always goes into another room and if you go near him or his trousers he gets very upset) we never get anywhere. On the few occasions where I've managed to pull his trousers down and sit him down he has been so distressed I have felt completely the bad mother.
Today we have decided that it has become too much of a focus so we are going to try a week without commenting at all (pos or neg) at him filling his pants, just quietly change him and see what happens. I wish I had the answer - I'm pulling out my hair. Good luck.!