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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

ds is different

3 replies

seadiamond · 23/05/2013 20:31

DS (nearly 7) just doesn't seem to have hit it off with any of his classmates and I'm a little worried. He seems to play on his own a lot of the time. He seems happy enough and doesn't complain but I can't help worrying about him.

I suppose he's a little geeky. He likes listening to music, playing the piano, reading, chatting etc. He's as active as any other boy his age. He likes running around, climbing trees, swimming. He isn't into competitive sports. All the boys in his class play football all the time or do other stuff that he's just not interested in. For a while he seemed to be hanging out with the girls but now more and more he seems to be alone.

He is a pleasant caring child. He has a younger sister who he gets on well with. When he is playing in a group he's lively, cooperative and tries to resolve issues verbally. He's quite clever - he seems to be ahead of most of his classmates.

I could do with some advice. Part of me says as long as he's not complaining just leave it. Part of me wants to encourage him to talk about why he doesn't play with the others. Then again I wonder if I should speak to the school physchologist - but am I making too big a deal about it all. He is happy I just think he'd be happier if he had some good friends

OP posts:
Karoleann · 23/05/2013 20:48

My son has just turned 7 and didn't really hit it off with his classmates either. He's fine n a 1-1 situation, but he didn't always play well in a group at playtime and was often on his own, school was very good and would always find him someone to play with, but he'd often walk off again as he didn't like the game they were playing.

So, we got him into football, he joined a club on a Saturday and plays a match on a Sunday, we got sky sports too. Neither dh or I are into football at all, so it's a bit strange....but it's worked, he joins in with the other boys more and we've got lots more invites back. He also started Beavers which he really enjoys.

honeysmummy1 · 23/05/2013 21:51

He sounds like a lovely, bright little boy. Embrace that he is different. Try an out of school activity like boy scouts? He will meet similar people there who enjoy the same interests. What about swimming lessons if he enjoys swimming? He will meet friends, perhaps just not in his class.
I suppose the main thing is that he is happy and its not bothering him.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 23/05/2013 21:57

None of my boys play football. Luckily it's a three form entry primary school so DS1 and DS3 managed to find a few boys who share common interests. Even so, DS1 has been much happier at secondary school where there is a wider pool of friends to choose from.

DS2 hasn't found anyone at primary school who is really on his wavelength but hopefully will at the (geeky) secondary school he is going to in September.

I realise that's a long time to wait for a seven year old, so until then, I'd suggest finding some activities outside school; get him on the waiting list to start Cubs when he turns eight, for example.

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