My 9 year old is completely draining us and it's affecting every area of our lives. She's really good at school and when she goes to other people's houses etc but at home she's dreadful. I can't put my finger on specifics but it's all the normal things that children do but to the absolute extreme. The day is normally ruined before we even leave the house for school in the morning! It's unfair on our 2 younger ones as well as they don't have to do much before we snap at them because all of our energy and resources have been used up on the eldest one. She always says sorry after the event and does seem genuinely sorry but by that stage we're done! She's been difficult from a very early age. I'm not sure if we need to get some kind of assessment done on her and, if so, how we even go about that. Has anyone else experienced this?