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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

new baby and jealousy over toys

9 replies

LilacBump · 21/05/2006 08:23

DD (nearly 5) is eagerly awaiting the birth of her baby brother (due in two weeks). however, increasingly she has been showing jealousy about the baby toys and things we got for the baby. some toys are hers from when she was little and she shows little interest in them, but every time we buy something that's new, she gets upset that it's not for her.
her birthday is about a month away and she will get lots of new toys just for her then, but telling her that doesn't make a difference. we are planning on buying her a toy 'from the baby'.

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colditz · 21/05/2006 08:26

Just let her play with the baby's toys. She will soon get bored of them. It won't do any harm.

Gloworm · 21/05/2006 08:28

why not buy her a toy, and give it to after the baby is born, the first time she see's the new baby. tell her it is a present from the new baby.
we did this and ds was chuffed to bits.

Twiglett · 21/05/2006 08:29

let her play with baby's toys

make it her responsibility to make sure that unsuitable toys (ie small with little parts) are kept away from 'her' baby

she will soon take pride in her responsibility for keeping her baby brother safe and if he grabs one of her small toys will swap it for a 'baby toy'

I think referring to the baby as 'hers' helps alleviate the jealousy

oh and take her out so she can choose a toy to give to her new baby

I think a 5 year old will see right through a toy 'from the baby' .. I think its too false .. I think she should get a present from mummy and daddy as celebration of her new role as 'the best big sister in the world'

at least this route worked beautifully with my DS (who was 3.3 when DD was born)

Original poster

LilacBump · 21/05/2006 08:31

twiglett, that's really helpful, thanks :)

OP posts:

Twiglett · 21/05/2006 08:44

what do I know though?

its advice from my new book "I don't give a f'ck how you bring up your kids I know what I do is best" ... snappy title eh?

Gloworm · 21/05/2006 08:51

somehow missed the bit about her being 5!
ds was only 1 and half when his sister was born.

I would let her play with the baby toys too.
maybe let her help fold and put away the babygros etc

LucyJu · 21/05/2006 08:56

My dd1 (aged 5) was thrilled to get a present from me "and dd2". She was also really proud to wear a "Big Sister" jumper (in fact, she still is, and dd2 is 6 months now).

frodofitz · 21/05/2006 09:30

DSS (step son, spends 50% of time with us) is 3.4 and although into the baby coming he also showed some signs of being a little jelous, being that he has asthma so i have sanded his floor to keep clean but have put a carpet in baby's room, also toys etc, but have put thier clothes together in a wardrobe in baby's room which he now knows is to share between both of them, he has bought baby a new toy and even sorted through his teddies and given baby 3 of them. I have a cushion in matching design for nursery which DSS has been adamant he wants, i have let him have it and he sleeps with it? Don't know what it means but if he feels it's his way of being closer then that's fine.
We have got a bicycle left from Xmas-he was given far too many toys- and was going to give him that from baby when he arrives, do you think this is a bit lame then and should coming from me and daddy? Or is he at an age where we could get away with it coming from baby?

Twiglett · 21/05/2006 09:48

you know the child best frodo .. if you feel that would work (coming from baby) then do it

when DS was 3 he was quite a 'realistic' child tbh .. and he knew all the 'baby growing in mummy's tummy .. mummy going to hospital to have his baby sister' details and I think he would have thought 'where's the shop?'

I really don't think its lame .. it just wasn't right for my DS .. and I don't think it would be right for most 5 year olds .. but may well be for your 3 year old

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