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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Trusting Cub Scout leaders for camp... being a bit irrational!

11 replies

OutofFashion · 07/05/2013 23:34

Hi, I'm new to mumsnet, would like to ask for thoughts about my 8yo son going on cub camp. He's been once before, all ok, but I get anxious as I am entrusting him to adults I don't know well. Have some irrational anxieties about this as did not have happy childhood with some tricky times, hence I know what can happen within trusted circles! I know I am in danger of transferring my own anxiety onto my sons experiences and he does not need that, what happened to me will not happen to him etc, all cub leaders are CRB'd too of course, but how do I stop being afraid while he is away? Am otherwise a well sorted, self-aware, rational, sensible person with the usual amount of healthy neurosis thrown in...
Thanks for reading!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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exoticfruits · 08/05/2013 07:35

You are in danger of transferring your anxiety onto your DS. If you are afraid while he is away, you smile, wave him off cheerfully, hide it and keep it as your problem.
The cub leaders are fully qualified to do a camp. As an ex Beaver leader I find it quite insulting that I am OK for cheap childcare for an hour and a half in a hall but suddenly suspect if I do more.

exoticfruits · 08/05/2013 07:37

Most child abuse is by people that the parent actually knows very well indeed,so you not knowing them well is irrational.

exoticfruits · 08/05/2013 07:38

It is also not surprising that the Scout movement finds it difficult to get leaders - they worry about their motives being suspect.

nannynick · 08/05/2013 09:47

Same as sending them to school.

You may be happier if you get to know them better. Volunteer to help at cub meetings, activity days and eventually even going camping.

Safeguarding procedures are in place to protect children and the adults themselves. Teach your son about possible dangers like not being on his own, raising any concerns with the CSL or another adult if the concern is about the CSL.

exoticfruits · 08/05/2013 10:01

They would love you to volunteer to help at meetings- even better become a cub leader!

GingerDoodle · 08/05/2013 10:31

I think its normal to some degree but wave him off, have a drink and organise something fun for you and the rest of the family!

matana · 08/05/2013 15:19

I'm afraid all you can do is ensure you've taught him somewhere during his 8 years about inappropriate sexual behaviour and what to do if he encounters it, then wave him off. It's so difficult not to transfer your fears on, and I don't actually think they are irrational. We all fear for our children's safety, wherever they are and whoever they are with. What you have to remind yourself is that the risk is very low, and it's just that the media is so much more prevalent in our society these days that when it does happen it seems so much more widespread. Paedophiles do gravitate towards easy access to children, but that includes schools, hospitals and just about every other institution or organisation that we consider trustworthy on the whole. Thankfully, though it does happen there are far more safeguards than there have ever been.

Original poster

OutofFashion · 09/05/2013 05:58

Thanks for thoughts and exoticfruits, please be assured that I fully respect and admire our beaver, cub and scout leaders, and know that this is my own anxieties and of my own making and in no way a reflection upon them. I have also helped out a few times when I can and hosted a couple of evenings for the cubs. I was interested to hear thoughts about it as despite knowing these things, it is still rather crippling! But yes, agree need to keep it to myself and not transfer, thanks for advice. Matana, your words are very reassuring, thank you.

OP posts:

exoticfruits · 09/05/2013 07:14

It is something many parents find difficult- I did- but you have to hide it. Sensible post from mantana.

lljkk · 09/05/2013 14:06

It's people you know well who pose the greatest risks.

NigelMolesworth · 09/05/2013 14:22

I am a Rainbow leader so I can't say what happens in Scouting, but in Guiding you do have to do an extra qualification to be allowed to take children away. To be allowed to run a sleepover, I had to go through a thorough qualification booklet, have several meetings with a more experienced Guider to run through the 'theory' and the practicalities and had to be assessed while on the event.

I'm in the process of organising one now for which I have assessed the venue I'm using, done a full on risk assessment and will be liaising with the police and fire service to ensure they know there are kids in the building.

There's a lot of thought and planning goes into organising a trip - it is my ultimate nightmare that something goes wrong but so far, it hasn't.

It's ok to be anxious and any leader worth their salt would understand. But for your child to really enjoy themselves you need to swallow as much anxiety as you can and send them off with a cheery wave. Then organise yourself something nice to do which will take your mind of it.

Hope it goes well!

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