Tantrum - aged 6 - quick response please!

[Notquitesotiredmum]

DS2 is 6, a lively, excitable personality and we have had problems before when he plays one particular game on PS2 when he is tired (or hungry, I've just realised). He gets frustrated and upset and very very angry, and can't handle his emotions.

We have tried taking away the PS2 when he is like this, and talking to him when he is calm. He gets things under control for a week or two and then we are back at square one. I have just had him screaming, crying, and slamming things around in his bedroom for 45 minutes. Nothing else does this to him, but then he doesn't really enjoy playing anything else except outside sports.

My dilemma. It is school barbeque tonight. I am inclined to say he cannot go as a consequence of his completely inappropriate behaviour, which upsets the rest of the house completely - long after he has recovered. It would be a big punishment as he is looking forward to it a lot. We usually withdraw the PS2 as a "punishment fits the crime" approach, or we just talk it through once he has calmed down, which works, as I said, for a week or two.

Would you punish or console a distraught 6 year old in this situation? And if punish, would you take away the PS2 or the barbeque. I have 20 minutes to decide!

take it away and don't give it back .. 6 year olds don't need playstations IMO

if you are stopping him doing something though I think you need to use it as a warning during the behaviour rather than retrospectively ie you behaved like that now this .. it needs to be more 'if you keep behaving like that then xx'

I'd just say .. go to your room and calm down .. when you've calmed down we can get on with a lovely evening at the school barbecue

Thing is, punishment always works best when dished out immediately after the crime. I would let him go, but stop him playing on that particular game at all if it causes so much hassle all the time.

X posts .

go to the bbq, chuck the game (or put it away for a few years til he can handle it). would be tempted to chuck the playstation if thats all he does at home

I think I would go to the barbecue but take away the game which gets him wound up for at least a month, maybe for good. Explain to him why you are doing this, that he seems to behave differently as a result of playing the game, and that this is not good for him and certainly not fair to the rest of the family. Is it the sort of game you'd expect t have this effect? I'm just curious. Good luck. My 6 year old gets very wound up by things too.

Huge thanks for your prompt replies. We are off to the BBQ and the game has gone for a month.

Normally I would have warned him and intervened more quickly too but had taken ds2 upstairs for a shower to get ready.

Unfortunately both of my rather boisterous boys react badly to things which are fun! They are much better behaved when not enjoying themselves, which I find really sad and quite difficult to deal with! However, we're getting there!

Thanks again