2 year old insult thread!

[Whatalotofpiffle]

My lovely little dd (2.4) has decided over the last couple if days that she much refers daddy, and I have been peppered with gems such as:

Sit in the kitchen mummy
Daddy will tell you off mummy, like you no!
Mummy stay here, come no
Like mummy, no!
Mummy eat num num with me. No
Mummy face disgusting

Ha ha!

I know she is only 2 but where has my delicious, cuddly baby who could not be without me gone!?!

"Don't talk to me like that mummy. Humph" crosses arms and does the face

"I don't want to see your face" crosses arms and turns back

I put a new top on "mummy you look like a fat lady"

if she's cross she'll call you a poo poo head (thanks ds!)

Tonight, when DH was trying to put her to bed: "Go back work, Papa. Jeans on, shirt on, coat on. Go back work!"

" I poo on mama face" ds 2.1
I have never laughed so much.

My DS is nearly 6 and will call DD who is 25 months, 'young lady' if she wrecks his playmobil, Lego set ups. She can't say 'young' but uses 'lady' to refer to me when she is cross with me or a situation. She also says 'God's sake' and will regularly say, 'God sake lady' over anything she doesn't approve of - it is very funny!

DD is 21mo now so limited speech but I can sense her dissapointment in me at times. I get told "Not like da" = can be used to express disgust at anything from me picking up her doll to daring to open a pack of raisins for her to 'help'
She is very good at sighing like a teenager already
She is also adamant that my mole on my face is poo and frequently points to it shouting 'POOO MUMMY!' as loud as possible.

DS pointed to my admittedly very hairy legs and went 'eww'.

He's also started going 'no shhh' with a finger to his lips like an angry librarian which cracks me up everytime.

When he was about 3-4, ds2 delivered what he thought was the ultimate rtelling off to me when I'd done something he didn't like (make him get into the bath or make him get out of the bath if memory serves correctly - he hates getting in but once in, he hates getting out again and would happily sit there for hours)

Him - 'Mummy, I'm not going to get married to you now you're being horrible to me'

me - 'Oh well, never mind '

When DD2 was very little she was told off by her ballet teacher.

"My mummy will throw you in the bin!" She threatened menacingly.

I was telling DS3 to sit down nicely on the bus this afternoon. Whilst I was mid sentence, he put his fingers on my lips and frowned at me and said "shhhhhhhhh"...

3yo DD
"daddy, I love you to the moon and back"

" mummy, I just love you to the fence and back" !!!!

I love these! Making me smile :)

Thank you for making my day!
I have just laughed my head off at these!
Nothing to contribute as DS is only 5 months but thank you for the giggle!

DP to DD (2.3): You're looking pretty!
DD: Yes, I am pretty.
DP: And Mummy's pretty too isn't she?
DD: No, she's just pooey.

DS (2.5): "Mummy stop singing please. My not like it."

And the other day my DH has cause to go into DS's room and tell him to settle down and go to sleep. As soon as he shut the door: "Oh, for goodness sake!"

To DH "I'm going to chop you up, put you in bin and get another daddy".

To both of us "Rubbish man" or "Rubbish lady", said with real venom.

My 20 mo likes to call DH 'Dirty Daddy' which I love!

One morning when I did, admittedly, look horrendous (mad hair, smudged eye make up, general hung over look) whilst sitting next to me on the sofa he pointed right at face a laughed.

What's dat smell mummy? Dat Mummy's bum?? (It was not, I tell you).

Favorite joke/ insult from 2.5 yo DS.

Having been righteously told off yesterday for climbing up and standing on the arm of the sofa before throwing himself on top of me and DS2 (all the while saying 'Sit Down! Monkey!' in a passable impression of me), we had tears and 'sorry mummy, sorry DS2' and then 'naughty naughty naughty chair!' at the sofa

Haven't got any that I'm prepared to admit to but marking place in hopes of more from everyone else!