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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Leftfield ideas needed to help stop dd pooing in her knickers ...

41 replies

TiredyCustards · 19/04/2013 08:29

DD is 2.8, we've been potty training for 3.5months now.

Wees are fine, but we're getting nowhere with poos.

DD knows when she needs a poo, as she waits until I'm out of the room to do one in her knickers. Sometimes she'll even hold a wee and just do the poo iyswim.

Bribery isn't working, I think because she manages a poo on the loo so rarely (twice since we started, two consecutive days).

I've started getting angry with dd about it, which I need to stop, so I'm going to try different ideas for a week each to see if anything helps.

Here are my ideas - please add yours, I need some inspiration!

Reading 'Liam Goes Poo on the Toilet' as much as possible
Giving her a prune and some neat orange juice and watching her closely for the next hour
throwing pooey knickers in the bin
leaving her alone to play with a bare bottom and a potty nearby

Thansk in advance!

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Original poster

TiredyCustards · 21/04/2013 17:13

The bubble idea is v interesting!

These are all brilliant, they make sense to me, let's see what, if anything, makes sense to Dd!

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dotty2 · 21/04/2013 17:30

We had this - though in our case it was a regression, which might be a bit different. I don't believe in chocolate bribery but I was desperate after a giant poo right up at the top of the soft play climbing frame...and it absolutely worked. We went and bought a box of biggish Lindt animal shapes. I think there were 6 in the box. I told DD1 she could have one every time she did a poo in the potty. Day 1 she did one poo in the potty. Day 2 she did 5 small poos in the potty an hour or so apart. She's not daft (even if I am) and that was problem solved. Good luck.

rufusnine · 21/04/2013 17:38

We had a hand puppet - who was always doing silly naughty things as entertainment for my dd and he used to whisper things in my ear. We were having similar problems and one day when we knew a poo was brewing but she was dancing around denying she needed one. in desperation that naughty hand puppet whispered in my ear "dd can't do a poo in the potty!" I told DD who immediately said "Oh yes I can!! and promptly did!! I think once she actually had one on the potty she lost her "fear" and a few more puppet antics helped the process along. He was a little knitted dog.

Original poster

TiredyCustards · 21/04/2013 18:22

She does like a lindt animal .... Perhaps I need bribery on a grander scale than chocolate buttons.

Her first poo on the loo was on my birthday (best present ever ) and the day after. Since then, I've caught her in the act a few times and got half of it on the potty...

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unlucky83 · 22/04/2013 11:08

FarelyKnuts - we did that with DD2 - either 'wee wee' or 'poo poo' on the pot tee...and the dance! Made a massive fuss about a success - we used to tell Daddy (when he got home from work) and DD1 (from school) even phone Granny and tell her too ...
Like I said earlier DD1 a nightmare but - I know no-one here wants to hear this- but DD2 was a dream, out of nappies at 2 yo - a month later refused to wear a nappy in bed - now 6 and has wet the bed twice since then - think it is child specific and is a very short term thing!
missalien talk to CM and preschool and see what they would prefer ...they will have seen and heard it all before...shouldn't be judgey ...

marriedtoagoodun · 22/04/2013 11:12

Can I recommend the website ERIC; it has great advice on it and also has some special training knickers which are essentially normal pants with an envelope for a liner so that when she has an accident you can remove. It is really important that any faecal matter does not enter the area of the vagina as this can lead to UTI's. I am speaking form 7 years of experience!!

irokurok · 22/04/2013 11:26

'Poo goes home to pooland' is a fab therapeutic story to encourage kids with poo problems, google it, it's online for free. 'Everybody poos' is a book with great japanese illustrations, showing that we all poo, and where we should do it. My kids still love to read it years afer we needed it for dc3!
Your dd is still small, can you take her to the toilet (with the pooey pants still on) and help her to flush the poo to pooland where he belongs? And clean pants at the end of a day earns a sticker/ star on chart? If she can't make it a whole day this week, reward her for a morning or afternoon with clean pants next week. No admonishment for poo in pants, aim for very little reaction, 'oh dear' in neutral tone, then clean up and move on.

Original poster

TiredyCustards · 22/04/2013 20:16

Will definitely google poo goes to pooland. Sounds like a page turner!

I have a minor success to report. Last night I gave Dd 2 prunes and some oj an hour before bedtime, then put her on the loo at bedtime, and voila! A poo on the loo
She only wanted one prune this evening, and there was no poo on the loo, but none in knickers either

OP posts:

UniS · 22/04/2013 22:03

what happens if she is not wearing any knickers?

Going commando helped a lot when DS was potty training, he was less likely to wet/ soil in loose shorts presumably as they don't "feel" like a nappy.

chillikate · 23/04/2013 10:24

Seconded for Poo goes to Pooland.

neriberi · 23/04/2013 16:32

This is really common, I think most of friends with kids have gone through this.

My DS did this then all of a sudden decided he liked to do a poo on the potty instead. We didn't do anything special to get him to poo on the potty, we just went along with what he wanted to do so that he wouldn't develop a fear of having a poo and hold it in, which was starting to happen.

In the end he didn't like the feeling of a wet poo in his pants so he started going in the potty but he would only have a poo if we weren't looking at him, so we made sure his potty was somewhere "private" or away from us that had some space when he needed a poo.

MerryMarigold · 23/04/2013 16:38

My niece was the same! It took a whil (around 8 months, sorry). She was well past 3 when it stopped. My sis bought primark knickers and chucked them in the bin when it happened. It was difficult as she had a child minder too and the childminder was struggling and saying she had never met a child like this, and my sis needed to see a health visitor. Some things my dsis tried:

a collection of mini books in a visible but out of reach place and every poo in potty/ toilet got a mini book (instant reward!)
reward chart (earlier on I think, but didn't work)
using nappies at potentially stressful times eg. family parties etc.

negrilbaby · 23/04/2013 20:35

I had exactly this with DD.
With her it was a matter of control. She needed the choice back.
I put her back in pull-ups and told her to let me know when she was ready to go into knickers.
She continued to do her wees in the toilet or potty (whichever she preferred). We made sure she had a step to use to reach the loo on her own, and a special loo-seat downstairs which has a pull-down toddler seat, and a plastic insert for the upstairs loo. The main thing was that she could go when she wanted without having to have help.
She waited about a week and then went back into knickers with no problems. We've not had a poo in the knickers since!
DD is a very willful confident child and likes to feel in control. Toilet training was very stressful for her because she didn't feel in control. Giving her the control back worked for us.

Dulra · 24/04/2013 09:23

My dd2 was like this too got wees pretty straight off and was also dry at night straight away but continued to poo in her pants. I haven't read back so this may have been mentioned already but what I did when at home was just put no pants on her at all because although she was comfortable pooing in her pants using them as a sort of a nappy she wasn't comfortable pooing on the floor iykwim so when she had no pants on she pooed in the toilet. After 1 or 2 days of no pants on at home it clicked with her and she never did a poo in her pants again. That was all it took after 3 months of pulling my hair out. HTH

Original poster

TiredyCustards · 25/04/2013 20:27

Thanks everyone, I think we're getting somewhere. She's losing the fear, the poo prizes are proving to be a motivation. Tonight she did a poo on the loo before bed, no prunes required!

She's not very good at telling me when she needs a wee, and just holds it until I take her to the loo generally, so i'm just going to try and predict when she need a poo too.

All your ideas have been brilliant, thank you

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Original poster

TiredyCustards · 22/05/2013 17:16

Hello, a little update for anyone who's interested.

DD likes a bit of privacy, so she would ask to play in her room, wait for me to go and do her poo then. So now I say 'would you like to go and play in your room?' if she says yes, that's our code. I take off the bottom half of her clothes, put the potty near whatever she's playing and leave her to it. Works a charm!

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