at what age do children use cutlery properly?

[bummer]

I am seriously wondering if ours ever will and it's causing friction and embarrassment when visiting MIL

bummer, my dd is 10 and useless with cutlery. She's slightly dyspraxic which accounts for some of it, but to be honest it's mostly laziness now. On Sunday lunchtimes I insist (or try to) on proper manners, but mostly don't bother the rest of the time (unless she's being exceptionally gross). At my dad's my step mother has a go at her almost all the time. That doesn't bother me - she is learning that some people do care about table manners. If we eat out she knows she has to makes a bit more of an effort, and the result isn't usually too embarrassing.

DS is 5 and I realise I introduced the use of a knife too late with him. He is gradually getting to grips with it though. But complains. DD is just 2 and insists on having a knife (because he does) along with her fork and spoon. I predict that she will be much more adept much sooner than DS.

Mealtimes in our household sometimes resemble those of tudor times with the kids tearing into the food with their hands and teeth!

I have an almost 8 DS1 and 4 year old DS2 who specialise in using their fingers for eating almost everything! I'm beginning to put my foot down now and insist on them using a fork and am encouraging my 7-year-old to use his knife too.

I'm also insisting on them sitting down and waiting for everyone to finish before they leave the table and they are to ask to leave the table before getting down too.

I have a DN aged two who has beautiful table manners but he has always been interested and motivated by food and as my BIL hated mess and used to take the bowl away (briefly) if he used his fingers rather than a spoon as a toddler he learned pretty quickly to use his cutlery! My children, on the other hand, were never interested in food as very little ones and only eat until they are no longer hungry now so it's always been an up hill battle with them. At times I was only too glad that they ate something and didn't mind how the food got to their mouths!

Okay this makes me feel better - I actuall got otld my ds ought to know how to use a spoon properly by now a week ago. He is 13 months old!

I HOPE he will be able to use a fork/spoon by the itme he is 4 and a knife and fork once he is 5 or 6. But to be frank as long as he ins't making too much mess by that age, is eating healthy food and has rudimentary manners- ie 'please', 'thank you' and 'can I get down' I don't really care if he eats with a spoon until he is 18!

13 Months - Well MIL visit going as well as you might expect but we have had food debates in various disguises since children were born and if it wasn't this subject, guess it would be something else.