Baby TV??

[DangerMousey]

My DS is 19wo (4 months) and is bloody hard work!

He currently seems to hate his bouncy chair, his playmat and his bumbo, and even gets frustrated/grizzly if I hold him on my lap and try to play with a toy with him. He is just a bit of a grumpy baby i think, but it is hard to hear him grizzling all day, and feel like I am failing to find ways to cheer him up all the time :(

He likes being cuddled and carried around the house but he is 18lb, and I have a bad back, and I cannot carry him round all day, I need to some time to have a poo myself now and again.

He is currently taking four 45-minute catnaps per day, which means he is awake for around 2 hours in between each nap. During each awake period i try to always play with him, sing songs and cuddle, put him in his bouncy chair in the bathroom whilst I have a shower, sit him on the bed whilst i put the washing away, talk to him about what I am doing around the house etc etc.

Over the last couple of days though, I have found that the one thing which is guaranteed to stop him crying is to put Baby TV on (it's a Sky channel with lots of songs, bright colours, no adverts, aimed at babies)....he will actually happily lie on his mat for 10-15 mins with this on.

But my question is.....does this make me a terrible mother?? I feel bad just plonking him in front of the telly but sometimes I am at my wits end with his crying.

Am I going to be stunting his development , or is it ok for him to watch a few mins of telly during each of his wakeful periods??

Sorry if this is a daft question but he is my first baby (obviously!) and I have no idea what i am doing!

[poocatcherchampion]

I'd suggest he needs more sleep..

[DangerMousey]

Oops sorry for my rather irate post - that will teach me to MN after half a bottle of red wine blush

Of course everyone has an opinion and that's fine. I feel reassured that a fair number of people who responded to the thread also let their DCs watch this channel - just wanted to know its not just me!

DS has been similarly grizzly today - think he is teething, cheeks are bright red. Poor little thing.

[DeputyDeputyChiefOfStaff]

I was thinking that too, poocatcher. Though I've got my third reluctant napper so I know it's easier said than done!

[DangerMousey]

Yeah I agree - but he simply will not sleep for longer than 45 mins during the day. Sometimes it is more like 35 :(

I have tried everything! And have posted about this on the sleep forums too. The ladies over there assure me that he will extend his naps as he gets a bit older. He is currently having 4 short naps per day and staying awake for between 1hr15 and 2 hours in between each nap.

He is, however, sleeping through the night, roughly speaking (goes to bed at 7pm, has a dream feed at 10 an other than that doesn't get out of his cot in the night at all...he often stirs a couple of times in the night around 2am and 5am but if we leave him for 3-4 mins he usually goes back to sleep on his own. If not, we pop his dummy in and he goes straight back off). A HV I spoke to recently said that was good for 4 months and that "you can't have it all"!! Suppose she has a point.

[PoppyAmex]

"OP I don't want to worry but if he's grumpy and grizzly all the time and he is napping every two hours there may be an underlying problem."

Seriously? That's what 4 month old babies do, isn't it?

I thought the prevalent advice was not to let a baby this age awake for more than 2 hours, so OP is spot on.

[DIYandEatCake]

4 months old can be a hellish age - was for my dd anyway - and I completely know where you're coming from. We didn't really do baby tv as it drove me bonkers, and like you I worried about whether or not it was a good idea. Some things that kept dd happy (sometimes!) at that age - walking round the supermarket - she loved those plastic bucket seats in the trolleys.
Going to baby groups and just watching people - this had the double benefit of adult company for me too. I went to one a day and still do most weeks (dd is 2 now).
And I know what you said about the sling, but i had many happy hours clothes shopping while dd snoozed/watched the world go by in hers at that age (she would only tolerate the pram while it was moving, as soon as it stopped she would scream as if being tortured )
Oh and I can't remember if you mentioned it but she would be happy in her jumperoo for 15 mins at that age too - made cooking dinner easier.

[DangerMousey]

Thanks poppy - i thought I was doing the right thing with the naps....it's impossible to keep DS awake for more then 2 hours anyway! In the mornings it's more like 1hr 15mins!

DIY thanks v much for the ideas - DS seems to the like the supermarket too but have only been in his buggy so far...might try one of the trolleys with a baby seat next time then. I sometimes go to a baby group once a week - do you really mean you went to a different one every day? Maybe I should try that, see what's on at different local churches etc....it's very tough being in the house with him when he's like this :(

A friend has just offered to lend me a jumperoo too, so I might give that a try...

[Backinbelfast]

Just to say that your DS sounds like a totally typical 4 month old. It's the age when so many women give up breastfeeding and/or start solids because they think the baby must be too hungry as so grumpy. It's a big neurological growth spurt time for them, teething starting, frustrating with wanting to move etc...generally they are grumpy often at this age in my experience!

I used to rotate round the rooms of my house for each wide-awake period of about 2 hours e.g. the bedroom, playing with toys on floor; next period - the spare room, different toys/shakers etc.

Some more ideas for entertainment (beyond going out to parks, groups etc):

• Definitely the jumperoo from when strong enough to sit up
  
• mirrors on the floor
  
• 'treasure basket' of unusual items to play with, changed daily e.g. put in wooden spoon/ clean toothbrush etc
  

I watched loads of baby Tv first time round (about an hour/ hour and a half per day) as single parent, very "high needs" baby (see Dr Sears) i.e. always needed carrying or unhappy (I did wear sling most of the day). This time round DS1 occupies DS2 alot more so haven't watched more than two hours baby TV with DS2 since he was born - he's 10 months now.

[Backinbelfast]

Apart from as newborns, neither of mine has slept at naps for longer than 40 mins at a time unless illl or out in motion in fresh air. Upside is that DS1, now aged 3, jumps into bed at 7PM and sleeps through til 7AM without a grumble, brilliant.

[Jayne266]

Oh my baby tv is my life saver I have been able to put it on when I have had to go the toilet or while am getting his food ready as some people have said though for us adults it's mind boggling. Although some of the songs are really catchy, so I have nicked them for my play and song time with DS.

[AvrilPoisson]

honestly? I think it's not good idea, at all.
Will pop back later with reasoning/suggestions

[cheekyginger]

If the TV works for short spells go for it IMO!

In fact TV is good stimulation for children's vision (Been working in with children in an eye clinic for 13 years), when used in moderation. Wouldnt promote substituting you for your TV! but it sounds like you have been a fantastic mummy and are giving your child a variety of different stimulation.

Your definitely NOT stunting his development, sounds like you are doing a great job!

[GirlWiththeLionHeart]

My 4 month old sounds exactly the same as yours op; awake for no more that 2 hours before nap during day, very grizzly. He's dribbling loads and gnawing on anything he can get his hands on so I was wondering if he's teething. Always wants to be carried around, won't sit in bouncer anymore for more than 10mins.
Even baths don't soothe him much anymore which used to really help.

The only thing he likes is being over my shoulder while I sit on my yoga ball bouncing. Have you got one from when you were pregnant? Sports direct sell them for £5.

Also re shorter naps, my ds has been waking up quicker too and then is very grumpy so I try and get him back to sleep sooner as I wonder if he woke up due to teething pain etc.

What worked for me was when he started stirring after a short nap, I would turn his white noise on and he goes straight back to sleep for sometimes an additional hour and wakes up very happy and smiley.

Good luck, it will pass x

[GirlWiththeLionHeart]

And don't feel guilty for putting him in front of the tv so you can sort yourself out. You are obviously interacting loads with him as it is. I would think tv all day with no other interaction wouldn't be good, but 10 mins here and there, fine.

[IslaValargeone]

I read your post carefully OP and to suggest that I didn't, because my opinion wasn't one you wanted to hear is hardly fair.
I'm not saying I'm right and you are wrong, but please don't ask for opinions and get shirty when they don't all help you justify your choice.

[forevergreek]

Personally I wouldn't. But your choice

Can you get out more? Walk in the park, take baby for a swim, meet some others with babies so they can 'play' together and you socialise, etc etc

2 and 3 year old here and no tv yet, but I would have gone insane if we didn't go out at least once a day. Now they are like dogs with two long runs a day! And a nap after lunch still

45 min naps sound normal at this age, gradually as he grows I would move this to 3 naps of 45 mins, 90mins, 45mins. Then again adjust as he grows. Eventually by around 18months I would say just a long 2 hr nap after lunch but plenty of time yet