I need some wise counsel on how to handle this one please.... Here is the background
DD (9) has gone on sleepovers from a young age and has always appeared to enjoy them. She went on a school residential this time last year and was away for one night and had a fab time.
This Autumn she started experiencing migraines which we found out were triggered by lack of sleep - ie if she went to bed late. A circle developed so that at one point if she were in bed later than 8.30 she would have one. We have sorted all this out and she hasn't had a migraine attack since Decemeber and has had successful late nights since.
She moved to a different part of the schoollast september ( new teachers, new buildings, incresed responsibility) and TBH I think that was what triggered them off. She loves school and I have no worries in that department.
Around about that time she decided she didn't want to go to sleepovers in case she had an attack - a decision which I fully supported and encouraged...
BUT, this is still going on and she is the only one not going on the school residential next month.
I have tried to encourage her to try sleeping at someone elses house. She choose to go to a friend of mine who she loves and trusts. My Friend said she tried to go to sleep right from the start but couldn't, the more she tried the more she couldn't whcih would her up even more. My friend sat with her and held her hand and she eventually drifted off aout midnight.
TBH I wasn;t worried about it all - I have just told other parents she dosn';t do sleepovers and have ven collected her at 9.30pm from sleepover parties so she could still go to the party. BUT I have begun to notice she is being left out of things. Two of her friends have recently had sleepover parties but not invited DD as "You don't sleepover". A new girl has come to the school who is lovely and DD's best friend is now inviting her places as " she will sleepover and you won;t".
She is the only one not going on a school residential next month - do I send her in on the friday as normal when the whole day is preperation and work for the residiential OR do I keep her at home? - if I kep her at home am I making it too easy for her?
Do I encourage her to sleepover ( ie sort out trial sleepovers to overcome the problem)
Do I ignore it - she will when she is ready - but to be honest I beleive it is a mindset which will not change
She will not even stay over with grandparents ( whoch she has done since she was a baby) - this curtails DH and I going out as the GP's are not keen on coming to us to babysitt.
DH & I had the offer of a "free weekend" away recently which we had to turn down as DD1 wouldn't sleepover any where.
DD2 slept over at a friends last night - which DD1 would have done at her age
HELP.....it is turning into a "problem"
Please, please advice needed.
Many Thanks!