I can't cope with the DCs anymore!

[Kyrptonite]

DC3 is due in September. Already have DS (4) and DD 2.8.

Bedtime is a nightmare. They will be completely knackered but will not stay in bed. DS has to have a stair gate to stop them going in and out of each others rooms and into mine. I tuck them in, say goodnight and leave but within ten minutes they're out of bed playing or shouting for me. I've been up to them 5 times since 6:45.

Behaviour wise DD is going through a stage where she will strop over nothing. She was playing on the floor, I sat on the sofa and she began screaming that I was in her seat (Sheldon Cooper has nothing on her). She will scream and cry and thrash about until she gets her own way.

DS is going through a stage where he calls everyone names such as poo head etc. tried ignoring it but nothing works. He is also still not toilet trained last July I started him and he was making really good progress staying dry but has only done about 7 poos in the toilet since then. Now he is wetting himself regularly and not even telling me and still soiling. He starts school in September and I'm terrified he will be the smelly kid with no friends.

I feel like they're running rings around me. I really don't know what to do.

Is one of the clues in the phrase "she will scream and cry and thrash about until she gets her own way"?

Absolutely!

If your DD gets her own way by tantruming you will always be on a hiding to nothing in terms of managing her behaviour.

If you decide things are happening one way, do not change your mind because she is screaming, crying or anything else. If you let her control you with tantrums your life and hers will be miserable. She needs to know that you are in charge and she won't feel secure with boundaries that she can change by throwing her weight around.

I would try the suggestion of a slightly later bedtime which involves a very predictable and positive routine.

Don't try smacking. It is becoming less socially acceptable and is prohibited in Early Years settings and schools for very good reasons. There is always a better way to manage behaviour.