Very unsettled 3 week old. Really need some help!

[louisoscar]

My dd is 3 weeks and one day old and is my 2nd child so I'm really feeling like I should know better this time round... She was a very wanted baby (lots of fertility treatment over 4 year period) and now I'm feeling like I'm not equipped to cope with her at all after all that longing and waiting!

She was full term but born by section after a very difficult labour (pre eclampsia then a failed induction) but has been breastfeeding well from the start and put on weight even before leaving the hospital. My problem is that she is very difficult to settle in the day and is having very little sleep (catnaps then wakes crying a lot). Consequently she is seemingly overtired and cranky and I just don't seem to be able calm her. She will fall asleep at the breast and continue on my chest but wake the minute I put her down (even after I have waited what feels like an age until she is properly asleep). I have tried swaddling and rocking whilst patting her back (in different combinations) sshhing into her ear, bouncing on my gym ball gently, a dummy (as she is breastfeeding so well I was told this was ok). She will fall asleep in the car but I am loathed to get into a habit of always taking her in the car to fall asleep.... We also have a caboo sling 'perfect for newborns' which she seems to loathe! I am trying not to feed more than every 2 hours (for my sanity, my nipples and for fear of overfeeding her) but this seems the only way to truly calm her down. I don't think she has any reflux and always does a good burp after a feed. There are times where she is active/alert and happy but some days for no more than a minute at a time!

Nighttimes so far are ok; she'll settle by 10 ish and sleep a few good chunks through the night which I know is good but how can I soothe her during the day??

Any advice welcome!!

You can't over feed a breastfed baby. 3wks is growth spurt time when all they want to do is feed, feed and then just when you think they cannot possibly want to feed anymore... They do :)

You need to let her feed as often as she wants as she is upping your supply to cope with her more demanding needs. You will feel as though you can't keep up but it's fine, you can. It is typically the point where mums often feel they need to switch/supplement with formula but your supply will catch up in a couple of days. It's tough going, and I remember it well.

I wish I'd known more about it with my first baby as I started mix feeding at this point. With my 2nd (and 3rd and 4th!) I just went with it and it soon settled after a couple of days.

Lots of cake and sofa time if you can :)

Yay to cluster feeding, even when not going through a growth spurt. Mine would all feed for hours during the evenings.

My nipples are fine except a bit on the tender side but most of the time her latch is very good and we have no problems feeding. I have been cluster feeding a lot in the evenings and I'm happy to do that but if she is taking a full feed off both breasts during the day roughly every two hours (I am by no means strict with these timings) I can't believe she can be hungry. I feel instinctively that she is just having trouble falling and staying asleep rather than having any problem with feeding. These fussy times often come if she has just napped inadequately and I don't know how to help her fall asleep easier.

Re the dummy, she doesn't really like it much tbh but I have spoken to countless bf friends who have used them too and tbh have been at wits end so thought it was worth a try.

Thanks for all your advice xx

thanks we love grapes. I looked at that link and Im even more confident she is getting enough milk! Will def be trying a different sling though,

thanks

I struggled getting DD (now 1mo) to settle in her Moses basket for a while, then started playing either a lullaby or white noise during the transition from my arms to the basket. It's magic! Now I know that if I put her down and she doesn't settle she is either hungry or windy, rather than just needs cuddles again.
I would second the thoughts that she can easily be hungry again at any time - just offer boob and see if she wants it.

Same problem, DD was easy to settle until the 3 week growth spurt. During this she fed constantly (90 min feeds, less than an hour in between), and was fussy all the time. The growth spurt seems to have upset her system and she now has reflux/colic.

If it's a growth spurt just ride it out. Feed on demand, and buy in good quality nutritious quick to cook ready meals and drink more water to keep your milk supply up.

If she is through this stage but won't settle check she isn't in pain from colic, or refluxing feed. Does she bring her knees up to her chest, squirm, or be sick when lying flat? I've resorted to infacol and it has really helped.

Newborns are designed to be at the breast a lot - if she wants to be fed I would just feed her.

PS The tomy carrier is great, v secure and supportive for the baby, and kind to your back. DD likes hers. She hated the sling I bought as it wasn't secure enough and she slid down into a curve, which made the reflux worse.

One last thing, hunger cues don't always mean your baby needs food so use your judgement. DD cries, head buts, chews fingers, roots etc when she is struggling with a big bubble of wind. Offering the breast results in a stressful attempt to latch, more crying and vomiting. If your dd has fed for ages, and suddenly seems frantically hungry, wind her really well before offering more food.

Thanks worcestershire sauce! I think you are right that rooting and fist chewing doesn't always mean she's hungry and neither does crying especially if it's after a good long feed off both boobs. My ds had reflux and I'm sure dd doesn't although she does sometimes suffer from wind pains. We have found bicycling her legs helps a lot.

Generally since we have worked on improving her naps she has become a lot more settled so a sleep issue rather than feeding. She took two really good naps yesterday and some shorter cat naps on me and last night she did a 5.5 hour stretch woke for a feed then slept another 3 hours! I actually feel human today!

Thanks for all the advice