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my 2 year olds behaviour......

6 replies

MMG · 10/05/2006 12:20

at times my 2yr old can be so very very good but then there are times when he isnt feeling so good...eg. a cold or teething, tired etc and he gets to naughty which is understandable and i try very hard to be patient but as you all know when you are tired and the day is going from bad to worse how do you deal with those tantrums and not cooperating situations.....eg. when i need to change his nappy he kicks his legs so hard i cant get the damn nappy on.....or wont get dressed.....etc. just been ready the thread about hitting mums so thats a big help as he hit me yesturday when we was out shopping because he didnt get him own way.....by the way he does get put on the naughty step which does work but cant do that when im out and about!

any ideas ?

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Bumbled · 10/05/2006 12:48

Personally, and it all depends on the situation doesn't it?!, I find the best results are when you give them options.... e.g. If he hits you, tell him (after all the no we don't do that it's not nice blah blah blah) that if he does that again, we will not go to the park/have a treat whatever. If he doesn't want his nappy changed, tell him either you change his nappy, or he can sit in his room - it's his choice. I always give all these options in a really cheery breezy voice and it's worked wonders, both for me and him. I make myself cheery and breezy and therefore feel a lot less het up, and he has the choice, put your coat on and come out with me, or stay here by yourself - bright smile.

Of course you need to think ahead about the options for flash points, because you will HAVE to carry them out if he does it again or whatever. So don't say something that you don't want to do, like going home, say I'm going to get a drink but you can only have water or whatever you come up with. As long as you always stick to what you promise and follow the same formula/3 strike rule, you will see fantastic results, I hope!!

Really hope this helps as I know how horrible it is for you [sympathetic emoticon]

MMG · 10/05/2006 14:40

thanks bumbled...thats sound like a great idea i will give it a try...i do some of those things some times but i dont think im consistant enough! :-)

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ProfYaffle · 10/05/2006 14:51

Much sympathy MMG - my dd has been like this the last few days. I know it's because she's a bit unwell but grrr.

Bumbled's approach works for us but only with very immediate cause and effect, dd doesn't quite understand that going to the park is related to doing X at home, iyswim.

I do some simple stuff like if she's refusing to put her shoes on I say 'oh well, we can't go out' and go and sit in the lounge and put the tv on. She will poke her head round the door saying 'outside?' I say 'are you going to put your shoes on?' and she generally does. We're now at a point where I can just say 'are you not putting your shoes on?' in a grim tone and she knows what I mean and puts them on quick sharp.

With getting dressed I've gone for a positive approach, eg I manhandle her leg into one trouser leg and start ott praise 'Ooh, look at you one leg in trousers etc etc' also mega distraction, eg 'Look out of the window, can you see the pussy cat? I can look, look, over there!' etc etc and while she's occupied I quickly dress her and she doesn't seem to notice.

Nappy changes, I found if I give her a bit of control she's quite happy. She gets her own nappy, wipes etc out of the cupboard or changing bag, I give her the clean nappy and she fiddles with it, unfolds it etc while I clean her up then passes it to me. Where possible she chooses where the change is done, sometimes bathroom, sometimes living room (not when we have guests though!)

HTH - sorry to ramble!

robin3 · 10/05/2006 14:53

I feel like a stuck record on this subject but I would highly recommend the book Toddler Taming...it explains why your toddler is behaving this way, outlines what your expectations should be, what is normal and ways of coping.

It also helped me to cope with other peoples thoughts and recommendations on discipline because everyone will offer an opinion now. Consistency and your attitude will be the key things in the next year, not (as lots of people will tell you) letting your child know that it's your way or the highway.

I promise it will make you feel quite excited about this period of your childs development rather than wondering where you are going wrong. The 2's (seemingly) are a criticial time in building your childs self-confidence so immediate compliance isn't necessarily the end goal.

Anyway...good luck. Like you I'm learning.

MrsBigD · 10/05/2006 15:27

can second toddler taming :)

Also just now reading How to talk so kids will listen... and it's giving me a headache LOL

When dd was 2 the best cure for bad behaviour was ignoring it completely. Very taxing but after a while she gave up because she didn't get the desired result

Good luck and ... it's only a phase ...

gegs73 · 10/05/2006 17:20

I give my ds the threat of the naughty corner everywhere we go. If he starts I tell him there is a naughty corner there and he will go in it unless he stops. Even if its just sitting him down on the floor and not looking him in the eye for a short while, might be worth it. Don't know if I'm just lucky but this stops ds in his tracks. Never had to do it in a shop though.

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