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Caught ds1 age 7 shoplifting. WWYD?

5 replies

HotelFromage · 25/03/2013 21:10

I was doing a quick shop in our local smallish supermarket after school, with ds and dd 18mo.

As he usually does, Ds went to the toy section to look at the Lego, then joined us after about 5 mins. I noticed that he had a lump inside his puffa jacket but it didn't really register - I thought he had his arms inside his coat IYSWIM.

Then as we were paying, I got a bit more suspicious and asked him what was under his coat. He said it was his tummy. After I had paid, I asked him to show me but he started to walk ahead faster. I caught up with him again and managed to feel the lump and felt that there was a box in there. He then shrugged me off and ran off outside the shop, despite me hissing loudly at him to come back. He went and stood behind the car next to ours, so I couldn't see him. When I started to "count to 3", he came out, with his coat now open. I walked back to where he had been hiding and there was a big box of Lego on the ground. He then had the temerity to deny that it had come out of his coat!

I was about to haul him back inside the shop for a telling off by the store manager when a member of staff who had seen the scene outside told me that she would put the Lego back this time. She had a friendly but firm word with ds about setting an example to his sister etc.

As well as a good initial telling off and consequences like no tv, nintendo etc for a week, we have talked to him and asked him if anything is wrong, but apart from a saying that there's a lad at school who makes mean comments ( am going to have a word with class teacher to see what she thinks) he says there's nothing wrong.

Don't know what to think now. Is this within the range of normal-ish behaviour for a 7 year old boy? He has lots of Lego at home; it's his favourite hobby and no real need of any more. If he did, he has savings in his money box, in fact only last weekend, he spent some of his savings on a new set.

Has anyone experienced similar?

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WishIdbeenatigermum · 25/03/2013 21:18

Any chance he was pressurised to steal it- was he planning to take it in to appease a bully?

HotelFromage · 25/03/2013 21:26

He said he wanted to take it in for show and tell as it was a fire engine and they are doing about fire at present.

But the daft thing was, he had already taken his own Lego fire engine in today for the same purpose!!!! He does love show and tell but I have said that there will be no more show and tell this year as I don't want him to start stealing things. I said his teacher would be mortified if she found out she had stolen goods in her classroom!

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Goldmandra · 25/03/2013 21:29

It sounds to me like a 7 year old who really wanted something and gave in to temptation on impulse. He then realised he had done something bad and panicked.

Lots of children steal once. The vast majority realise very quickly that the shock and upset it causes coupled with their guilty conscience are far worse than they anticipate and not worth risking again. I think your DS will do the same.

It is always worth checking for bullying but TBH I'd expect it to be sweets, small toys he already owned or money going to a bully. 7 is a bit young for stealing to order.

He's been roundly told off by the shop staff and you. I'd remind him that this must never happen again and then let it go.

missmapp · 25/03/2013 21:30

I was caught stealing a chocolate bar at age 7, the shopkeeper took me into the office, gave me a stern talking to and phoned my mum, who did about the same as you did . If it helps, over 30 yrs later, i still rememeber the whole incident clearly and with great shame. I also have never stolen anything else!!

I had no real reason to take it, I think I didnt really think through the consequences. I think you have dealt with this correctly and he will have learnt a hard lesson.

HotelFromage · 25/03/2013 21:48

Thanks everyone!

Goldmandra I think you are right on the impulse thing. Even if he has just had a new lego set, he will always ask to buy something when we go to this supermarket. I think he is possibly a shopaholic in the making.

missmap thanks for sharing your chocolate stealing experience! I hope he jolly well looks back on this hopefully one-off incident with great shame too!

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