dd2 has an intelligence of a 5yr old, but is 3.5yrs old, how do i encourage her?

[misdee]

anyone got any ideas.

how do you know?

I would say do nothing but I am a lazy cow

encourage her to do what exactly?

Just play with her :)

Mind you, DSs do like doing those read/write/maths workbooks you can get. We did make them fun by adding a reward at the end.

my 3.5 year old likes doing her phonics (although I mainly leave this to nursery) and playing jump ahead games on the pc. Also we do read those books where you hvae to spot things and count them, eg a pic of a farmyard where you have to spot 5 pigs for example. we like those.

Ask her preschool what they would suggest. Am I right in thinking her motor skills lag behind, in which case it isn't so practical to do formal writing etc ? If you or preschool want to introduce more academic work then Jolly Phonics might be a good resource but without the written element (use finger or stick to "write" in wet sand or making the letter out of playdoh instead). Otherwise I'd suggests lots of reading/sharing stories which perhaps she can illustrate, structured craft activities such as picking up bits as you go for a walk and making a collage picture, or picking a theme such as space or animals on which to base art, play and reading, using colourful beads(or cut up straws, coloured pasta) thread onto string to make repeated patterns for necklaces and basic counting by sorting out a jar of beads, dried pasta etc.

thanks lizs, thats pretty much what we do anyway. dd1+2 have a 'collection' of things they find on walks for pictures.

dd2 has just been assessed at the child devolopment clinic about her behaviour, and she scored very highly on thi part of the assessment. she gets very frustrated as her intelligence is greater than her physical skills. so she will attempt tp make something but cant do it, but will istruct me on how to do it, that sort of thing.

Mine is the same but her motor skills are good, she can write and draw well etc

TBH I don't really encourage it as she is a Sept baby so she will be the eldest in the class anyway, am a bit worried that if I do too much with her she will be bored senseless when she starts school

true CD, but i also have a dd on the other end, who is struggling at school and trying desperatly to catch up. I am trying to keep her encourgae and is now counting down how many books left till she moves to the next level.

Hi misdee,

I think just keep talking to her, reading to her, and playing simple games like snakes and ladders, build a beetle, etc are all good.

Hmm - this is a tricky one. I have wondered if it is better to concentrate on the bits they are good at which they often enjoy or the areas where they struggle.

Misdee, dd1 was/is a bit like this - we've just had her school report and though we don't have SATs here we have national assessments and she has passed the level she is expected to attain at age 12 (she is 8!).

The main thing I would say is to be guided by her and her interests. At your dd2's age, dd1 was obsessed by colouring in, so I got a huge roll of paper from Ikea and drew lots of intricate pictures for us to colour in together. I would read her lots and lots of stories and be at pains to answer all her questions. We used to make up stories a lot (even now she and dd2 clamour for made-up stories when we go for a walk).

She learnt to read in nursery and would spend hours poring over books until she mastered every word. Again, we encouraged her to read as much as she wanted and gave her a wide variety of books. I work in a library now and bring home a new book for her most days (again, her reading is advanced, she reads mostly the 10-14 age group stuff).

Like your dd2 her motor skills are not great (though not quite like your dd2) - she struggled learning to cut out (and is still very poor at it compared to dd2), teaching her to ride a bike was a nightmare so bad that I still haven't faced teaching dd2 (!), and right now I am trying to teach her to wash her hair by herself (AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH). Her intellectual skills are certainly more developed!

And lastly I would echo Anniemac - dd2 is also very bright but very different and needs a lot of encouragement and praise - fortunately for us the teacher (they are in the same class, tiny school) is very aware of not comparing them and of championing their own achievements.

Lizs gives lots of sensible advice too. I agree that you should aim for breadth of experience and development rather than pushing her to achieve above her level - we encourage dd1 to (for example read plenty of books aimed at her own age as well as older stuff - it would be so easy to push her on and have her miss out so much.

HTH!

I would put the effort into encouraging her physical skills. The more she masters them now, the easier it will make it for her at school. I think if you do too much now on the reading and writing etc you run the risk of her being bored when she starts school, but with the fustration that she experiences now with her motor skills increasing. In my opinion (which is worth pretty much nothing!) if you have an intelligent child who struggles with physical skills there is a tendency for them to become very demoralised if they struggle with things like writing and to want to give up trying.

DD's SENCO has a brilliant little book to help them practice cutting out which I was impressed with when she showed it to me. I'd get as much sticking, cutting, colouring (with encouraging her pencil grip), dressing etc as possible whilst you have the chance, as improving them will help her no end when she gets to school to keep up with the others. I wish I had realised when she was your DD's age that there was a problem as a bit of work put in then would have saved DD a lot of fustration now.

I was an exceptionally intelligent child. Don't want to sound too boasty here... but I was. (I grew out of it! brain is now mush). Anyway, I was reading, writing several sentences and performing adding & subtraction before I went to school. My parents did nothing to encourage this as my mum said they didn't need to. I seemed to want to elarn all the time off my own back. I found the early years of school frustrating as I was ahead and was a bit alienated. From that point of view, being ahead of everyone else was a very bad thing.

But the worst thing was that I never struggled at school - EVER. I sailed through everything (apart from woodwork). But then I went to Uni to study physics and discovered that more people were like me than not. But also discovered that I had to work hard at things and that sometimes I wasn't the best in the class and sometimes I failed. Add to that too much partying and I dropped out. I went on to study business the following year a bit wiser and more prepared to do the work.

So I would say to not discourage her, but don't go out of your way to 'push' her. If she wants to learn she will regardless of whether you enourage it or not. And if she's closer in ability to her peers it'll probably be better for her.

I agree with Kitty. Both my kids have fairly poor motor skills (not worryingly poor but definitely below average) however, they excelled in other areas. We spent some time doing the things they wanted (generally the things they were good at!) but then also started activities which would promote the other areas they struggled with - things like cutting out, colouring, dressing up, swimming lessons etc. which needed a lot more input and encouragement from me.

You don't need to do anything special misdee, just give her the chance to follow her interests and provide opportunities and materials for her. Agree with not 'pushing' and letting her develop her natural love of learning. She will show you what she wants to learn and at what pace - like any child given the chance.

thanks. i wont push her at all, just need to know how to encourage her. she loves puzzles and books and really excelled at those tests today.

Read Vygotsky, or a summary of his work (do a google search). Then read child development books, assess where your child is, and then you can "scaffold" the next area of learning. Hope this makes sense!