Irritating little tics in 7-yo DD

[Poledra]

My 7-yo DD is a bright, confident little girl. She's doing well at school, no problems reported from her teacher and she likes going to school. No other upsets at home. However, she's developed this little habit of rubbing her thumb across the tips of her fingers. It's like the motion you do to rub fat into flour when making scones. She does it a lot, whenever she's not actually using her hands (or so it seems!).

It's driving me bananas - especially when she does it when I'm reading to her as the noise is irritating, as is the constant motion. So far, I'm just gently holding her fingers and saying something along the lines of don't do that, sweetheart, it's annoying. DH thinks it started when she got something on her hands when eating, and discovered that it felt nice to rub the food onto her skin (or that it was a way to get rid of it).

I just sense-checking here that we're right in assuming it's just a little habit she's developed, that it's nothing to worry about and that she'll grow out of it. Oh, and that it's OK to gently stop her doing it when it's really getting on my wick!

Thanks

I have known lots of children who have developed these little ticks. They generally grow out of them if they are left alone.

It is often and unconscious action but if they are asked to stop they then have to consciously control the urge to do it which can introduce a lots of stress. They sometimes have the save up the urge until they are on their own or even end up avoiding people so they can tic away without being told off.

My advice would be to just totally ignore it. It a not causing any problems or embarrassment beyond being irritating to you. If you make her stop she could well end up replacing it with a new tick which you like even less.

can help explain the stress we cause children when asking the to keep still. Their other videos are well worth watching too.

Yeah, I think what you're doing sounds fine! Probably is a little habit which, with some gentle coaxing, she'll stop doing.

My 4yo dd (bright, articulate, happy child) developed a facial tic a fee months ago: kept screwing her nose up like it was itching. We just kept saying to her stuff like 'oh, stop doing that sweetheart, because we can't see how pretty your face is' 'is your nose itching? No? Then stop moving your face like that, please'.

Just make her aware of it, make something else seem much more appealing - or give her something else to do with her hands, like hold a cuddly toy :)

My post completely contradicts Gold! Mine is based on my experience with our dd - I'm not going to argue that it's the right thing to do because I don't have enough evidence :)

Yep, I wouldn't point it out to her...

Go along the same advice issued for children who bite their nails or suck their hair. Ignore, and distract when necessary.

If you point it out, not only will you make her aware and potentially very embarrassed, but you'll put a lot of pressure on her to stop doing something that is unconscious. Repetitive motions are usually very soothing. If you stop her doing it you risk her waiting til she's on her own to do it, or becoming very stressed and upset that she can't stop.

There's a study somewhere about nail biters - those who are ignored or distracted tend to stop much earlier than children who are made aware that they are biting their nails, or deterred from biting them. I can't for the life of me remember where I was reading it, though.

You have a made a good point there Molotov.

Giving her something else to do with her hands is a good idea because it could help disrupt to habit. I wouldn't say that was why I was giving it to her though. I would just leave fiddle toys, blue tac (if appropriate), etc around for her to pick up if she wants them.

Just make sure they don't make noises which you will find even more irritating Poledra

Thanks all for your replies - I know it sounds pathetic but the noise of skin rubbing on skin is more irritating that I could have possibly believed

OK, will go with ignoring and leave the poor little ratbag be. Though I might still hold her hand when I'm reading bed time stories but without pointing out that I'm doing it to stop the rubbing because it's nice to hold her hand anyway. She's also a hairsucker, but that doesn't bother me so much - I just slip the hair out of her mouth when I notice and don't say anything. And keep her hair short enough that it's difficult to get it to her mouth...

Ugh! Seeing children hair sucking makes me gag!

It doesn't sound pathetic at all! I have two DDs who have AS and we've spent many an evening watching tv accompanied by vocal tics. Sometimes I am screaming 'SHUT UP!!!!' inside my head while I sit there completely passive apparently engrossed in the programme