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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

15mo - super clingy / dramatic

7 replies

6monthsin · 24/03/2013 19:30

I suspect this is just "normal" but it's seriously hard-going..

If anyone else (even DH) tries to hold her, she reaches for me and shrieks. If she can't do something (ie figure out a box and lid) we have a tantrum.

She's only been walking a couple of weeks so I'm guessing she's asserting her independence, and she's had a cold/been teething so I guess that explains some of the clingyness but it's got worse over the past few weeks, rather than easing off.

She used to be so docile and sweet. Is this the terrible twos starting early? Is there worst yet to come? Anything I can do to help her???

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Rockchick1984 · 24/03/2013 22:32

All normal in my experience! My DS went through a similar clingy phase around that age, he then became insanely clingy to my mum

My DS is just turned 2, and although the tantrums are far worse now that a few months ago, I know how to deal with them a lot more effectively. As his language is improving that helps a lot too, he is much more able to explain what is wrong!

Kiwiinkits · 25/03/2013 02:01

How many hours in a 24hour period is she sleeping? Sure she's not over tired? It doesn't sound normal to me, sorry.

Original poster

6monthsin · 25/03/2013 10:29

What bit doesn't sound normal kiwi?

She was going 7-7:30 with a 2 hour nap at lunchtime but all of this has been somewhat disrupted with lighter mornings, teething and coughing. So yes she is sleeping less and we're back to 2x naps a day if needed.

OP posts:

Bumpsadaisie · 25/03/2013 10:41

She 's having a clingy phase. IME they often get more clingy when they get more independent - makes sense I guess that they learn to walk but they also get a dose of clingyness (otherwise they would have wandered off into the bush I suppose!)

Sounds totally normal to me. They do change in the second year. My son was such a gentle laid back baby, I used to worry he might get trampled on in the playground when he was older.

Ha! Now he is nearly 17 mths, very, err, forceful, very, err, clear about what he wants, and if there is any violence between him and his sister (nearly 4) it is now always him that is the perpetrator, not her

I think there is worse to come though ... sorry you did ask! At this age you can distract and change the subject to get their minds off a strop. When they are 2 - 2.5 that doesn't work; and they can be so so so contrary you will want to scream with frustration! They are totally emotionally labile, they are not yet capable of understanding that they are supposed to do what they are told, they have a will of iron!

But hopefully usually by 3/3.5 they are a bit more reasonable and more obedient.

In terms of helping her now the best thing is to go with it. The quickest way to get through a clingy phase is to be reassuring and just accept this is how she is for now. She will come through it quicker if she learns she can depend on you. And her anxiety about separation is gargantuan; if you try and force her to be unclingy, she will just get upset and more anxious. Ride it out, and she will come through the other side, hopefully before too long.

jigglebum · 25/03/2013 10:59

Op - I could have posted this almost exactly - dd is 15 months and the same. SHe is also suffering from colds and teething (since about october!) and is so clingy I end up doing lots one handed. She however is also a bad sleeper (having been the easiest most docile kid and best sleeper till 6 months till it all went pear shaped with illness!) so some of it might be tireness for us.

I spoke with my HV about it as I was struggling with the combination of demanding, clingy dd and lack of sleep. She is a very good HV and we are progressing on the sleep and her advice was to just go with the clingliness and accept it for now as separation anxiety will not last for ever. It is still hard but changing my attitude to it has helped. I also find if I put her up on the worksurface next to me when I make tea, wash up etc she is content.

Mine also temper tantrums already - I just make sure she is safe and ignore. DS never had them this early and actually never really had that many. I agree that by 3 life is much easier! But actually I found from 18 months they are easier too. Good luck

Bumpsadaisie · 25/03/2013 11:04

Jiggle - what was the advice on the sleep? My DS could do with some!!

jigglebum · 25/03/2013 12:00

bumpsadaisie Well we had already started controlled crying but the go in every 5 mins and lie her down variety, rather than the 5, 10, 15 mins etc and so it had improved from 4 wake ups a night and unsettled evenings to sound evenings and 1-2 wake ups in the night. So we then moved onto cutting any bottles out (which I should have done by 14 months probably anyway) so she didnt associate milk/sucking to sleep so she now has milk out of a beaker in her bedroom in the evening. I then sit with her till she is nearly asleep (but no rocking, patting etc) and then place her in her cot virtually asleep and keep my hand on her tummy till she settles herself. If she wakes in the night now I just go in lay her down once and that is it (she may cry a bit afterwards).

However, it is has not been smooth sailing and we have been doing sleep training since christmas. I wanted to throw the remote at that bedtime live programme last week when Tanya whats her name said 3 days of sleep training and a child would sleep through!

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