5 year old...is this normal??

[busygirl]

hi.i have some concern about my nearly 5 dd.still has very bad angry outbursts,very bad screaming,throwing things,getting snot all over herself on porpose.as well we think she has chronic constipation,and a couple of times got poo all over her hands,when asked she said it was itching.a couple of times lately she then proceeded to smear it on the wall...surely at this age she should know that's disgusting?im starting to be worried something wrong with her,but she s very clever for everything else,very good reading and social skills.what can i do??

bump.

My dd has angry outburst so will be watching with interest.

My DDs behaviour is much easier if she is well and not uncomfortable. Do you think the constipation could be affecting her behaviour?

My 5yo has recently started having screaming tantrums, and I don't know why. She has no concept of snot being disgusting, and although she knows she shouldn't she snorts it out, and licks it up. To be fair I have never seen her with poo on her hands, but I honestly wouldn't put anything past her.

She has poor reading and social skills.

I honestly don't know if this is normal or not, but it doesn't seem so different to what your DD is doing.

I have a DD of just turned 5 and she still has the odd awful yelling snotty tantrum. She also has some yukky personal habits. I think you're expecting too much. Have you seen the doctor about her constipation?

Neo,its not the odd screaming tantrum tho,its nearly every day.

aspergers?

I would say tantrums normal, my just 5 yr old ds4 van and does still have them.

Snot, what do you meanmny all over? Ds4 wipes his nose on his sleeve...

She obviously needs help with toileting still which isn't uncommon at five. Itching worms maybe? And what are you doing to deal with the constipation?

I mean during a bad tantrum she would blow from her nose on porpouse to get dirty,but maybe that's normal?don't think aspergers,she has good social skills?giving her lactulose and taking her to gp again,as I want to be sure if its constipation or behaviour(eg waiting too long to go to toilet etc).
Basically I'm worried about:
Extreme frequent tantrums
Not realizing poo is dirty and u don't want it on ur hands/walls!

I bet she knows its dirty but doesn't care!

My ds2 went through a stage where when wiping he would get poo on his hands and then get it on the loo seat, the wall by the loo etc. I just had to supervise and make sure he washed etc. He struggled with wiping.

Itching could be worms.

Is she having leakage if loosish poo? If so she may be a bit blocked up and that is out other control. How often does she poo.

What does she respond to behavior wise is triggers before tantrums?

Does she like reward charts?

Amend supervise toilet trips, have you tried those wipes for children for the bathromm, kandoo? She may find those easier to use?

Snot when tantruming is normal, tho how do you mean she blows it deliberately? Mine often end up a snotty mess when tantruming.

If she is constipated have you tried high water foods, lots of drinks and exercise?

Is she getting enough sleep?

Does she do any of this at school?

poo accident happens at school too,i know it probably isnt her fault if there's a blockage.today again,was playing on laptot,then she look at me and a hand comes out of her pants dirty from poo...i despair.when asked nicely she said she was checking if she was dirty,so i think felt an accident but didnt want to leave laptop to go get cleaned up in the toilet.trigger for tantrums is tiredness + not being allowed to do something,but she loses it very quickly and takes age to calm down :-(

could she have ADHD?

She may have threadworms which cause itching - particularly at night. This could disturb her sleep making her more prone to tantrums.

tantrums are not a new issue,always been like that.i'll check for worms tonight just in case anyway.told her off about touching poo,it really upsets me...

I think part of the problem may be the way you view poo and snot being "dirty".

i would try not being dramatic about it, even ignoring and keeping upbeat and cheery in your reaction ("whoopsadaisy, poo again eh?").

But then I'm not fazed by my childrens bodily fluids.

im not fazed as long they stay where they meant to,poo in pants is fine,accident happens etc...but poo on hands and wall?no,no way i can ignore that.its not me viewing it as dirty,it is dirty!its poo!

Yes its dirty but you just have to be very mattet of fact about it and clean it up without making a fuss.

My son had a little poo on the wall patch he is fiercely independent and didn't wanthelp when on the loo. He wasnt getting enough paper and then poo on his hands and panicking. It was a case of explaining what he needed to do if he got in a mess. and explaining he doesn't need to be embarrassed with mommy and to call if he needed help. That seemed to work. He itches sometimes to him to the docs and apparently it's piles. I think pooey problems are fairly common at this age. Especially of something else is going on. My ds messes with his nose and tries to hide his face again I think snot and fiveyear olds are a common combination especially if they are emotional

Think a little poo in the pants occasionally is normal at this age. I was really worried about our dd starting school as she still had accidents, especially if distracted. School were really good about it and assured me that s totally normal and very common.

Agree, try to stay cheerful and maybe keep so e wipes in the rooms you use most so you've got something close to hand for wiping bums and fingers. The "whoops a daisy" approach mentioned above sounds just right. Try to stay cheerful, if if you don't feel it. If she is getting a lot of attention for doing it, she'll continue, whether its good attention or bad.

If tiredness triggers the tantrums, how much sleep is she getting at night? Do you have quiet times with her at home?