Almost 3yo needing me there to fall asleep

[BigGiantCowWithAKnockKnockTail]

For about the last two years DD's been perfect about going to bed (except when ill).

For the last week she's been adamant that I stay with her when she goes to sleep and if she wakes up in the might she's upset that I'm not there anymore. One morning she crawled into my bed and told me she didn't like it that I'd left her the night before On other nights she's ended up sleeping in my bed, virtually on top of me with the need to be so close.

She spent last night at a friend's and was apparently fine. She woke at 4am crying for me but my friend settled her back down and she slept until 7. I hoped that this would be the end of it but this evening she insisted that I stay with her. On previous nights I've stroked her hair, but this evening I just sat on her bed with the intention of doing a disappearing chair type thing.

Is this likely to be a developmental thing or something else? I've been concerned lately that there's something worrying her that she can't verbalise properly.

Any ideas or suggestions would be most welcome, thank you.

Could be nightmares? Maybe just give it a short while. It doesn't sound like you think she's playing up.

No I don't think she's playing up. She has been prone to nightmares before, maybe once every 3-4 weeks and I've started keeping a diary of what she's been doing the day before she's had one (totally unable to tell me what's upset her).

Poor thing. No big changes recently? Like preschool starting or similar?

That's actually the one thing that concerns me. She's been going to pre-school since September but in recent weeks has been crying when I drop her off. I'm really starting to get concerned that there's a problem there. They say she's absolutely fine but I really do wonder.

What can I do to help her?! It's horrible to see her so clingy and upset

My almost three year old DD is the same. Me or DH have to sit with her till she goes to sleep, which takes around 45 minutes. Up until now I attributed it to the fact that we both work full time, but I suspect it's partly just her. I tell myself that it won't go on forever... Though we are both pretty exhausted as she doesn't fall asleep till around 9! I use the time to furtively catch up on email and do online shopping (I hide my iPad under the chair and get it out when she's drifting off).
We managed to evict her from our bed by using a star chart (she used to climb in with us when she woke up in the middle of the night, then take forever to settle down). This does mean that when she wakes up, we have to get into her toddler sized bed with her till she falls asleep, prob 45 minutes average. The midnight calls seem to be getting less frequent since we started doing this.
So mainly sympathy +++ and a tiny bit of advice!

Marking place. We have this exact same problem and don't know what to do.

Well it's reassuring to know it's not just happening here (sorry!). I suppose my main concern is whether it's developmental or something worrying her because my approach would be different for each scenario.

Aaarrrggghhh!! why can't they just stick to one thing so you know where you are with it?!

I would be tempted to book a meeting with preschool and ask for full info about what she does and how she gets on. Does she say anything? I personally wouldn't make a kid go if they didn't want to, unless I need to go to work of course, maybe you could take her out for a bit?