13 month old biting

[KD0706]

My 13 month old DD has started to bite me.

There's no obvious trigger and I don't think it's particularly deliberate/aggressive on her part.

Examples - today she crawled over to the sofa and pulled herself up on her knees. My legs were tucked under me and so my feet were at her mouth height so she bit my toes. She sometimes will bite my arms or chest when I'm cuddling her.

Husband thinks we should bite her back which I'm completely opposed to. At the moment I'm just saying 'ow, no' and putting her down if I'm cuddling her.

She's bitten me four times today so I feel I need to do something.

Hello. We have a cross biter here - ie only bites when cross. Started a bit later than your dd though at abt 19 months.

She bit be soo hard once I squealed really loudly. Whole restaurant went quiet. She hasn't bitten ME since. Now bites furniture, clothes, daddy, etc.

Have since found out that really loud squealing is a strategy -

Worth a try?

ok when she bites you say no in a loud firm voice. you then move away from her and do not speak to her for a few minutes. if she does it again you say no again in a loud firm voice, then you physically remove her from you (other end of the room), if she then does it again you punish her by time out. yes she is old enough to have a time out, no she will not like it, yes she will keep getting up but you just keep putting her back and telling her that she is there because she bit you and that's not allowed.
keep at it though, don't give up because you are tired or want a bit of piece (im guilty of that), if you give up she will carry on biting and you will have achieved nothing.
my eldest son was a biter, not through anger, just cos he could. my mother in law suggested the above technique and within 2 days he had stopped biting.
my dad just said bite back but that open a whole can of worms doesn't it. if you tell them its naughty to bite, then you bite them, what sort of mixed messages are you sending out, plus nobody wants to inflict pain on their own child do they.
good luck xxxx

Mine did it when teething. I wouldn't bite back - how does that help apart from show them that biting is ok...?!

I just distracted them or gave them something to bite. They don't do it now

I agree iggly
I can't see the argument in favour of biting back.

She's done it once today and I spoke in a cross voice to her and said no don't bite, put her down and ignored her (probably for all of about one minute!) while she cried at my feet.

Are you sure she isn't teething?

She no doubt is teething - I think babies are virtually constantly teething for the first two years. (well maybe not quite!)

She hasn't done it again today so fingers crossed

Another one doing the 'time out', or at least its equivalent, with a 14mo. If a firm 'no' doesn't work then I pick her up and put her down somewhere like the corner of the room where there are no toys and turn away from her. She doesn't always seem to understand what is happening, but more times than not it makes her cry. When she comes back to me for a cuddle I give her one and then carry on as normal. The one time she came back and bit me again I moved her to the hall and closed the door on her for five seconds. It does seem to be working, we've not had much biting for a while.

Ds has been a biter since about your dd age (now 18mo). Often it's for teething - in this case I try to give him something appropriate to chew on (teething breastfeeding necklace finally coming in handy!) after firmly saying 'no. Biting hurts.'

The times he does it in frustration/anger are harder to deal with. He has one little friend he bites all the time when playing :( luckily I'm good friends with the mum and she's quite relaxed about it (so far...) as she can see I do try to address it. I find it hard not to get cross with him but I'm trying now to consistently say no and remove him from the situation obviously. I don't think naughty step etc would work for him now, but who knows in the future.

One thing - ds only seems to do it I'm around (so not when that friend has looked after him) so we think its maybe a communication thing for mummy? As in, mummy I'm not ok, do something!

Thanks everybody.

She hasn't done it since I gave her a telling off and ignored her.

But she has bitten my clothing a couple of times and I think some (not all) of the biting was maybe an accident. When she's snuggling into my shoulder she seems to like biting my top. I seem to recall my elder daughter used to do that when sleepy and cuddling in. But can't remember how we stopped her.

Ha ha! 13 month old biting? You only need to worry when they're the undead and bigger than you. Really, no big deal. She's a baby. You can handle it. She's testing out all sorts of new abilities, sensations, tastes - she's only just got her teeth. They're a new tool/toy. She could in fact be teething. Even if it is aggression, she's a baby! Where'd she get it from? Everything they do they learn from somewhere. Do not make a big deal about it. NEVER punish them for it. NEVER bite them back. That just satisfies you and you're supposed to be the adult. It may be just attention seeking; which they're entitled to - you had 'em. If they have a sibling, there could be a jealousy/insecurity thing going on. What do we expect? How would we feel? If it's in anger, remember, they do not have language, it's the only way they can convey how they feel. If you must, just pick 'em up, go 'ow, ow ow' with a hurt look on your face; give 'em a cuddle and distract them/diffuse the situation with a toy/song - keep it good-humoured - and get on with the washing up with them on your hip. They do not understand if you get cross/ignore them/time-out/put them in their rooms. That's why they cry; not because they're learning or you're teaching them a lesson; you're teaching them insecurity, they just do not understand what the hell you're on about.
Really, you should have your granny/granpa/aunty/cousin/neighbour around to help with all this. But we don't. So don't think yourself a failure if you're not the 'perfect parent'. None of us are.