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My 5 yo doesn't seem to deal with negative emotions very well, and hurts herself when upset

7 replies

NightmareSpoon · 21/03/2013 13:07

I have a 5 yo DD who has always been very highly strung and somewhat sensitive. As a toddler she had really awful temper tantrums which went on for ages. She is still very prone to tears, and full on crying and screaming if very upset. She still throws herself on the floor sometimes too, and occasionally she hurts herself by hitting herself or banging her head. She seems to be overwhelmed by her emotions and unable to calm herself down. Nothing you say or do when she is feeling like this seems to help, I often ignore her until she is calm enough to be rational.

Both her reception and Y1 teacher have commented on her emotional liability. They say she cries over very small things, like her chair not being there when she goes to sit at her desk. They say that although she is doing well with her work and she is very well-behaved (in that she always does as she's told and is helpful), she is "behind" emotionally.

She has made friends in school and has a "best friend" but sometimes her behaviour makes them unfriendly to her which obviously upsets her further and her behaviour escalates.

Yesterday she fell out with her best friend and started crying. Her friend said something like "you're never learn anything if you keep crying all the time" which really upset her and she starting screaming and then banged her head against the wall on purpose :( The classroom assistant told her off for acting out and told her to stop crying.

Now I'm absolutely not cross with DD's friend or the classroom assistant here, because I know what DD is like when she's in full on meltdown mode. She's very, very hard to handle and her the things she says and her actions makes people can feel very angry towards her.

I just want to know what I can do to help her, because I can see that her behaviour isn't "normal" for someone her age and it's starting to worry me.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
NightmareSpoon · 21/03/2013 15:45

bump

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SimLondon · 24/03/2013 11:54

www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/life/relationships/article3497239.ece

See Tonya Brian's column on over sensitive children, might help

NightmareSpoon · 24/03/2013 12:51

Thanks for that it does look interesting, but I don't have a Times subscription so can't see the article.

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SimLondon · 24/03/2013 14:05

Will pm

yerblurt · 25/03/2013 09:21

Hi SimLondon

We have a nearly 6 year old daughter who does similar things - in many respects she's great, she's reading voraciously, physically advanced and bright as a button.

Could you cut and paste the article or PM me a copy please? Me and the OH would be really interested in reading the article...

KatieLily12 · 25/03/2013 09:24

Does the school have an educational psychologist? Not jumping to therapy here, more a resource for information. Ours was wonderful and knew lots of techniques and strategies as well as helpful groups locally etc. The schools SENCO should be able to hook you up

NightmareSpoon · 25/03/2013 22:39

Hi Sim thanks for the PM it was very helpful.

KatieLily - I've no idea if her school has an educational psychologist but it's parents evening tomorrow so I guess then's the time to ask. I'm definitely going to raise it with DD's teacher anyway just to get her POV.

I had a nightmare with DD this morning - she cried from 7am till I took her into school at 9 still sobbing on the way in. She said it was because she didn't want to go to school. She keeps complaining of tummy ache and a sick feeling in her mouth which I think is anxiety related.

It's odd because in many respects she's confident and outgoing and well behaved normally, but also has a huge sensitive side. I don't think it helps that it's the end of term, she's tired, she's probably hungry (has huge food and fussiness problems but that's a whole other thread) and she's been ill a lot since Xmas with various bugs.

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