Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Original poster

21 month old bridesmaid!!

13 replies

dionnelorraine · 08/05/2006 11:39

Im getting married in October this year and our daughter, who will then be 21 months is going to be our bridesmaid. Very excited!!
I know this may sound silly but what is the behaviour like at that age? Im worried about things like nappie changes, tantrums and naps. Its going to be a long day for her, Im just not sure on how to make the day as easy for her as possible.
No one else will be looking after her as all the family will be drinking.
Does anyone have any experience with this kind of situation?? x

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
alittlebitshy · 08/05/2006 11:46

surely someone else in the family can help you. it is your special day, and as much as you want your dd involved, hers and your day would probably run a lot smoother if there was help.....

a relative of ours got married last june, her ds was 23 months and coped well, but his grandma and other rellies were helping mum and dad, as clearly mum and dad had to do loads of mingling too.......

make sure the buggy is around so she can nap, as as for the rest of it i'd say it'll be a normal day for her, just a lot more exciting (what i mean is nappies etc will be the same as usual)

am i making any sense?

pucca · 08/05/2006 11:46

Yes my dd was around the same age when i got married, and she was fine! i was quite shocked how good she was, she just went with the flow of the day really, refused to nap though in the afternoon (i got married in the morning then a meal then a evening do)but wasn't grumpy or anything finally flaked at the evening "do".

I had a bag for entire day with all things for her in, a few toys, obviously nappies etc and take a buggy just in case.

hth

hana · 08/05/2006 11:52

Hi there
My daughter went to 2 weddings at 22 months old. At this age, she was only having 1 nap a day, but on these days there was just so much going on that she crashed out during the dancing instead.
I would make sure you had somewhere for her to sleep, even if it's a comfy buggy - we had brought that to the reception for both weddings, and she eventually did sleep in it. Have food that she likes ( don't rely on there being something suitable at the reception) so make it as normal as possible for her. Can you arrange for a highchair? Lots to drink and some comfort toys/ books etc as well. Our daughter was given a small bag of presents on the day by the brides ( bubbles, some glitty hair things, just little presents for her to open) I thought that was a good idea.
Tantrums - possible, but you can't prevent them really!
have lots of fun , your daughter will have a great time as well

Original poster
dionnelorraine · 08/05/2006 12:06

Thats good, Thanks all.
My family will help out a bit, I just cant ask 1 single person. I suppose we all muck in together.
I will take a buggy then, Possibly a travel cot?? I like the present idea, Never thought of that! She loves new things!
I just hope she's good when walking down the isle (although, its only a reg office) and when we are saying our vows. Mind you, I do have a couple of grown up bridesmaids that can help.

Thank you :)

OP posts:
spinamum · 08/05/2006 13:12

hello

my DS was 12 mths when DH and I got married.Obviously that's significantly younger than your DD, but we found the presents/bribes thing really worked. He sat on a high chair at top table with us. We were lucky to have a fab Nan who dotes on him and took over his care for the day. If poss it is good to have one person in charge of that even if lo is shared around by all relatives. My DP (before he was my DH) was quite blase about who would look after him as we would be surrounded by family. For my piece of mind , I needed to know who was checking the nappies and keeping him in the room, etc. Maybe you could even get your usual baby sitter to watch her at the reception for a few hours(if you don't rely on family like we do!)

With regards to vows time, DS did a spectacular stage dive on to the floor at the crucial moment causing a huge bang.Everyone remembers our wedding with affection. It wasn't a airbrushed magazine shoot, but it was the marriage of two people with a kid.

DS toally adored the wedding, eating yummy food,cake,everyone dancing with him and talking to him,totallly upstaging the bride!He didn't sleep a wink during the day and passed out at about 9, sleeping unsurprising like a baby!

DS and I even had a second dance together (One of his fav bands, Busted "Day I crashed the Wedding".)

Hope you have a wonderful time.

Original poster
dionnelorraine · 08/05/2006 14:38

Thankyou Spinamum. That is very re-assuring. I will probably get her god mum (who is also a bridesmaid) to be the main person to keep an eye on her for things like nappies as you said.
Your wedding sounds very memorable! I hope mine will be like that. Im not worried about perfection, I just dont want big disasters! However Im feeling better about it all now so Im even more excited!

Thanks again xx :)

OP posts:
poppiesinaline · 08/05/2006 14:43

My DS1 was a pageboy at 18 months for a close friend of ours. I was bridesmaid. DH was bestman! I carried DS1 down the aisle to avoid an escaping toddler and I held a bag of white chocolate buttons underneath my flowers!! worked a treat Grin

Original poster
dionnelorraine · 08/05/2006 14:46

Ha,ha, Good old white chocci buttons! They are magic! Another good idea! Thanks :o

OP posts:
melrose · 08/05/2006 14:48

def take travel cot. We took my ds to my brothers wedding last onth at the same age. He was v good for most of the day althugh reluctant to sit still in the meal so dad and I took turns to sit and eat, so it is then you will prob need some help! We had a travel cot thgough and put him to bed at about 8.30, which was lovelyfor us as got to party! (Had baby monitor and lifted him into car seat in taxi to go home)

Alternatively don't know whow far you will be from home, but my friend got married when her DS was 18 months and Grandma took her home to bed at about 7pm, where a babysitter was waiting. She felt that as angeloc as he was in the day the eve would be too much and meant they could relax without someone runing around after an overtired toddler!

louise35 · 08/05/2006 16:20

My DD was a bridemaid for my SIL when she was just 18 months old! (I personally thought she was too young but did not want to offend by declining IYSWIM). All my anxieties were put to rest though on the day, she was brilliant. She loved all the attention and there wasn't a tear or tantrum all day. Fortunately she's always been a very outgoing child so I've never had to worry much about the crying at strangers etc and boy was there alot of strangers doing the pinching the cheeks and cooing thing!! We took her some of her favourite toys etc but luckily she didn't need them. The only problem really was the reception, the food was terrible (supposed to be a warm carvery but turned out to be cold greasy lamb chops and a bit of quiche) and there was really nothing suitable for her to eat apart from the wedding cake and a few buns but fortunately we'd taken some quavers and biscuits and some little fromage frais. She did get tired towards the end of the afternoon so we chose to leave a little earlier rather than put up with possible tiredness tantrum. There was no evening "do" so we all went straight home and she had a really good sleep. I think she really enjoyed herself, your DD will love it and as its your own wedding you can plan ahead to make sure that she's well catered for. Good luck and and I hope that you have a lovely wedding and a really happy day Grin

Original poster
dionnelorraine · 08/05/2006 16:30

Thank you Louise35.
After everyones comments my worries are put to rest.
Thanks, Im sure the wedding will be great, Its so exciting!! :o

OP posts:
flamesparrow · 08/05/2006 16:39

Got married last year and DD was our bridesmaid - 24 months.

You need someone to be a dedicated person to just her. One of your family or friends will have to not drink (surely someone can give up alcohol for the sake of one day???) If it could be one person all day it would be best (buy em a bottle of champagne or something as a thanks) because it is disorienting.

My DD was thrown by mummy in a big dress with fancy hair, and worst of all, no glasses... she wouldn't go near me for half the day! Have either the dedicated person look smart, or have a bridesmaid ready to carry her down the aisle should fear of mummy set in Wink. I didn't have it planned, but my friend (the carer) was conveniently in a suit the same colour as the wedding :)

If possible, can anyone have her in the morning whilst you get ready - she can meet you at the ceremony and you don't have the stress of baths, sticky fingers on dress etc.

A comfy pushchair is a great suugestion - both page boy and bridesmaid were conked out snuggled up with blankets by the end of the day.

There will be some time between the ceremony and the do while you disappear for photos (I should think) - plan for someone to take her for a drive, either to a park to let off steam, or to sleep during that gap.

A change of clothes is handy - bridesmaid dresses are normally manmade fabrics and can get uncomfortable... A pretty cotton dress for the evening will make her feel more comfortable.

Oh, and be prepared for a toddler on your lap during the meal Wink.

It can be an incredible day with your child, but planning is essential - you need to be able to focus on you.

Notquitesotiredmum · 09/05/2006 09:45

I agree, have one person looking after her if at all possible. Are there any older children going? One of them could be asked as a special favour to be an entertainer/play with her, to give her godmum a break - 8-12 year old girls are usually hard to keep away from toddlers anyway!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page