5yo bedtime trouble

[Sparklymommy]

Ok, so my five year old son is an absolute nightmare at bedtime. I am tearing my hair out as I need some mummy and daddy time and it's getting harder and harder for us to spend any time together.

My son shares a room with his older brother, they have bunk beds. However ds prefers to go to sleep in my bed, and only with someone (usually hubby) laying down with him. Then when we go to bed we move him to his own bed. The trouble is if no one stays with him til he is asleep then he keeps coming down, or if he wakes and daddy has gone he will continuously come down until we go to bed. He is then up again at 6 am. We have tears, tantrums and upsets if we deviate from this routine which means we never go out as a couple because babysitters can't cope with him and he will not sleep if he suspects I am going out.

How do I make him sleep in his own bed??? He was always put to bed in his own cot as a baby, as were all my children and yet he doesn't seem to cope with it now.

Don't know if it relates anecdotes or gives advice but see there's a new programme tonight about getting children off to sleep Bedtime Live (Ch4).

I think you might be better tackling this in the Easter holidays tbh. Does your elder son go to bed long after DS2?

You say he 'doesn't seem to cope' but truth be known he's not not coping he's not being expected to cope and by default is ruling the bedtime roost.

You're going to have to get tough. In his bed and staying there..even if that means door duty a la Supernanny (doesn't get as far as the stairs because you are waiting for him on the landing). Returned to bed regardless of the tantrum and gently but firmly tucked in. And repeat and repeat and repeat..

I would brook absolutely no argument in this respect..the longer you let him do his thing at bedtime the worse it will be longterm (at the moment it's cuddles and Mum's bed, how soon until it's not going at all until he's ready?).

Buy a good book (for door/landing duty) and prepare for tantrums the likes of which you've probably never seen for maybe up to a week until he gets the message that you mean it and you're not backing down.

Good luck and remember we've all been there one way or another

Yes, to a certain extent I accept ht you are saying and I must admit I blame hubby for this because he has been soft. That said, we have tried the supernanny way. We have tried being strict, getting cross, being patient nothing works.

Not so much cross, patient or strict as consistent.

Calm determination combined with the physical going back to bed. Oh and a united front parentally. Do not back down or give in-even if it's like a scene from a horror movie tantrum wise (bet he can't throw one as well as my 2 year old DS2 did )

Combine the back to bed with having chosen new bedding of his choice perhaps and explain it's the start of a new regime-I mean he is 5 so he should 'get it'.

Sounds really mean but you have to get this sorted, not just for your sanity but for his because over-tired can lead to massive school issues.

My 3yo used to need us to lie with him till he went to sleep. He now listens to story cds as he falls asleep, and he gets 1 minute of us lying next to him before we leave the room.

I would agree with anklebitersmum - combine making his bed a lovely place to be with a new consistent routine.

Is there another room that his brother can sleep in while you crack it?