16 month old and "no"

[Jomouse]

Getting my DD used to the word and a few rules...
Finding the balance between "no" all the time and being inconsistent really hard!
I only use "no" if she is physically in danger and have chosen some other constants

• opening cupboards in kitchen
• fingers in plug sockets (!!)
• pulling cats tail or being too rough with them
• crayons in mouth

She sometimes cries even when I say no really gently and I feel terrible. Is this too much too young?

Perfectly acceptable - I tell 11mo DS 'no' and remove him if he's doing anything that can cause him harm, or might break something. I say 'no' but leave him be if he's messing with something I don't particularly want him messing with.

I tend to find that being gentle gets me nowhere - a firm tone works well and did with DD (not shouting, just firm). Usually a 'no' is enough to distract him from whatever it is he's doing.

My dc3 (15mo) sometimes cries if I say no really gently but I have to when for eg she's poking her fingers in my eyes repeatedly. It also helps though to quickly move onto something else to distract her.

IMO they do need to hear no from as soon as they act independently. It would be more confusing to suddenly start saying it at say 2 years old. I think you're right though to try to keep it to things that are dangerous for her or others.

You're doing the right thing by only saying no at more dangerous things. You could try saying 'stop' or similar for more minor things.

My son is the same age and we tell him "no" if he is doing something that is likely to hurt himself or others (including our pets) or if he doing something that is likely to damage something (like throwing things). He does understand it and usually stops, but like others have said he does sometimes cry, even when it is said very gently to him. I put t it down to him realising that he can't always have his own way. Distracting him with a toy or singing usually snaps him out of it. I feel terrible when he cries, but he can't do things that are going to hurt people or damage things so he has to learn that "no" means he can't do it, even if he really wants to!

It's definitely worth picking your battles. If it's not immediately life threatening, then let her learn, otherwise you'll send yourself mad with all the NOs! It does get easier the more they understand.

Sounds fair enough to me.

To stop myself using 'no' too much i'm trying to use the relevant word in a firm voice in certain circumstances with my 16mo. E.g 'hot, don't touch' or 'gentle with the cat'. It's going ok as she seems to be learning what 'hot' and 'gentle' mean in addition to 'no'.