3yr old DS rejecting his dad - how can I help improve their relationship??

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I have DD1 who is 7, DD2 who is 5, and then DS who is 3. Both DDs have a good relationship with DH; they enjoy time with both of us equally, although there is no denying that I am the 'softer' parent.

DS, however, is a total mummy's boy. He is my last child. Was quite low birth-weight, and has continued to be a bit small and frail. No real health issues, but frequent coughs and colds etc (plus a broken leg at 18 months old!) The long and short of it is, I have completely babied him, and now he is very, very attached to me.

When we are alone in the house, while DDs are at school, he is not clingy. He plays brilliantly by himself etc. But our problem is that he is almost 'rejecting' his own dad. DH adores him, and it breaks his heart to be pushed away like this.

For example, if DS wants a drink of juice, he wants me to make it. DH will say 'come on dude, I'll get u a drink' and DS will either say no, I want mummy to get it, or blank his dad completely and come to me asking again for juice. He'll turn his head away when DH speaks to him, and almost pretend he hasn't heard him speak.

Obviously this is so so hurtful for DH. He tries so hard. Never gets annoyed with him. I'll say "DS, answer daddy, you're being rude/unkind/ hurting daddy's feelings", and DH will say no no it's ok...

I just don't know how to improve the situation! He'll not even say goodnight to DH at bedtime!

Is this completely weird? Will he just grow out of it??

Just to add, DS does sometimes do stuff with DH eg go out to play on bikes, swing etc. So he doesn't hate h or anything! It's like he just decides he's not going to interact with DH sometimes....

Anyone got any advice??!

You can't force it, but maybe your DH needs to take a more prominent role with your DS? Almost go away for a week and leave them alone together?

My three year old daugher rejects me and prefers Daddy. Its sad as its me who does most of the work of looking after her.

I think that you should have zero tolerance of your Ds being mean to his father.

"For example, if DS wants a drink of juice, he wants me to make it. DH will say 'come on dude, I'll get u a drink' and DS will either say no, I want mummy to get it, or blank his dad completely and come to me asking again for juice. He'll turn his head away when DH speaks to him, and almost pretend he hasn't heard him speak. "

If he behaves like this then he should get no drink. If he continues to be horrid then he needs to be punished. (ie. naughty/ thinking step)

"I just don't know how to improve the situation! He'll not even say goodnight to DH at bedtime! "

Go out and get Daddy to do the bedtime routine occassionally.

Don't come if your son screams for you. Its not as if you left your son with an axe murderer.

You are making yourself senior parent. How often does DH get them alone compared to you? Just go out at bed time and leave DH to do it - even if you just walk around the block. Take the girls out and leave DH and DS at home together. Even better - go away for the weekend. He hasn't had the time to bond that you have had.
On a simple level just be a bit more dismissive- if he wants you to get the drink just say 'tough- daddy will get it or you will have to do without'. If be kicks up a fuss ignore- stay calm and just look baffled at the fuss and repeat.
I agree with ReallyTired- just let daddy do the bedtime and keep out of the way if you don't want to go out. If he screams, he screams- he is quite safe!
Just remove yourself and go out is the best option until DH has had time to bond- it may take a while.

Thanks for the replies. I think I avoid leaving DH to do bedtime alone because I know it might be hard work for him. I absolutely agree that DS will be fine with his dad, even if he makes a fuss because he wants me. But I think I just feel that after a hard day at work it's not fair to ask DH to do bedtime!

I suppose if DH really wants to re-bond with DS he'll have to take on a bigger role, and I'll have to stop pandering to DS.

Off to plan a few evenings out for myself....!!

I'm in the same boat as ReallyTired. DS has always preferred his father. I hope he will grow out of it but he has been v consistent! He is nearly 4!

Very good advice Exotic.

It is always easier giving advice when it isn't your child! That is why it is easier to go out - even if you just walk around the block. If the end if the day isn't good let Dad do getting up at a weekend - go off for a run and you can get fit at the same time!