The terrible 8's?

[FlowerPotMum]

My DD has just turned 8. She's always been a well behaved and polite little girl. For the last, possibly 5 months she has turned into a complete terror. She is cheeky, rude, bossy and sometimes downright nasty.
She shouts, screams, slams doors and is generally a mini-teenager. I spend 90% of my time with her screaming and shouting back at her. It's not ideal but we can't seem to get past it.
She has an immense temper and lashes out on occasions.

I have spoken to her teacher and there are (thankfully) no problems at school aside from the occasional friendship issues which seem to stem from DD's bossyness.
She does the usual after-school clubs and is well behaved at them.
I am at my wits end. We've tried reward charts, marble jars and withdrawiing clubs/treats/tv/Ipad time etc etc. It works, for a day or two but soon it's back to normal.

Please, has anyone been through similar, please tell me it's a passing phase of pre-double-digit-hormones?
Any advice would be much appreciated.

F-P :)

Can you try to take note of what triggers her tantrums? Might be more of a pattern than you think.

No advice but my 8 year old ds is the same model child at school though :-/ I think might be linked to hormones

My ds3 is 8 and sounds similar! The perfect pupil at school tho, such an angel that his teacher couldn't believe the behavior we get at home when I told her!

Another one with the same dd! I am just starting to realise that she hates me "going on about things" I thought that I have always tried to explain why I want her to do or not do something, ( eg "would you please unravel your knickers from your tights as it creates more work for me and they don't wash properly") but she perceives it as going on, we also both seem to have to have the last word so I am trying hard this week to say less and let a little of the muttering go - its very hard though as I don't think I should tolerate rudeness!
I do tell her that people are like mirrors - if you give out snarly or grumpy behaviour that is what you get back, but am only just starting to realise that I don't have to mirror her!

My DD is almost 8 and just starting to get a bit cheeky, ignorant, snappy and generally just a little bit fowl. Her nice manners and speech seem to be going too she's starting to use regional words which are oary compared to normal.

Thanks for the replies, I'm glad -and secretly pleased- to hear that we're not alone!
I've noted that her tantrums are always linked to being told 'No' and not getting her own way. Normal as this may be at 2, in an 8 year old I expect better.

The mirror comment is spot on, thanks hillyhilly. Maybe just maybe I should look at my own overly shouty behaviour!.

Thank you again, my mission for this week is to choose my battles whilst remaining firm and in control, I'm also aiming to nail water to a tree

I've just logged on to ask for help with my 9yr ds. We are in the same boat, previously beautiful loving child with an amazing amount of empathy for people, kind, and selfless. In the last few months has changed beyond recognition. Like your dd FlowerPotMum the tantrums and screaming usually stems from the word 'no'.

I am at my wits end, last night it all came to a head with me finally losing it and screaming back at him. All I do know is we can't carry on like this anymore. The house is becoming miserable. I had recently taken on a full time job and I am also studying for professional qualifications so there has been a lot of change at home, and I can't help thinking its all my fault. No longer know what to do

I have just logged on as we are having the exact same problems.
DSD (just turned 8) has gone from being model angel (comparatively anyway) to the most hideous teenager in waiting. She is currently sitting in her room. again. having thrown some yoghurts at me in the shop and telling me she 'doesn't want disgusting pasta again'. yesterday she told granny that if she carried on being horrible daddy would 'slap her' in the face when he gets home from work. I literally wanted to vomit it was so hideous. Please understand that we DO NOT speak to each other like this...

I am currently pregnant and also the preverbial wicked step mother but as I have been her resident parent for the last 4 years I don't think thats the whole problem.... obviously it has triggered the change but I really don't want her to just get away with it!

you are seriously not alone and I just hope they move past these phases soon!

I am so grateful for this thread - I thought mine was the only one.
Also an angel at school btw!

Can relate to all your posts as our 8.5yr old DD1 is a complete nightmare at the moment! She shouts at everyone in the family and yet is an angel at school. So frustrating!

Yesterday was the first day in months that i didn't receive a torrrent of abuse after school, was so lovely. We had sat her down at the weekend and said that this behaviour simply couldnt continue as she was upsetting the whole household (also have a 5.5yr old and a 5 week old). I didn't think it had made a jot of difference but hopefully I'll be proven wrong and today will go smoothly too.

This stage is so much harder than the terrible 2's!

Thank you so much for the replies. well, behaviour is still poor but I'm trying so bloody hard to just smile and then walk away until she's calm, and you know what? it's starting to work .
Lets hope a corner has been turned