Star Chart for a 5 year old - How would it work ?

[Kayleigh]

I have seen these mentioned before and thought I would try and knock one up as my ds1 is getting cheekier by the minute and seems incapable of doing something until the 27th time of asking.
He has also got into the habit of repeating what you say to him when you tell him off, which drives me and dh mad.

What is the best way of doing this? Should I give him a star for good behaviour but he would lose a star for bad behaviour ? Or do i only reward good behaviour and ignore the bad behaviour, so no taking away of stars but don't give one on a day that he has been naughty.

Do i do one star per day, or more ? Help ! Confused !!
What approach has worked for you ?

(And obviously I will be making one for ds2 at the same time as he HAS to do the same as his brother !)

Your not supposed to take stars away for bad behaviour.

I think its best to concentrate on a few specific tasks or behaviours rather than expecting him to be just "good" for example if your particular struggle is him getting dressed in the morning and fighting with his brother concentrate on just these things on teh chart so for example if he wouldnt go in the bath but was nice to his brother he would still get a start.

Once the behaviour your concentrating on improves, change to something else but just keep it to 1, 2 or maybe 3 at a time depending on what you think he can cope with.

We did one for ds when he was 3.5. It was a toilet training issue that needed resolving so we gave him a star for a positive result and ignored a lapse rather than taking stars away - you're right to go along this route I think. We just needed a star a day.
We involved him in drawing the chart and choosing the stickers that would go on it.
We also, to give him a bit of an incentive, had "mini-prizes" for a week's worth of stars and a more substantial treat when he got a month's worth.
It did work really well. Good luck. They can be right little pickles at this age, can't they. I'm thinking of drawing up a new one myself.

Kayleigh - I echo what Becca says. We don't take off stars, it doesn't see, to work. Try and set a very specific goal*, write down the 'rules', and if he achieves the goal he gets a sticker.

*For example: Going and brushing your teeth nicely straight away, the first time you are asked.

or: Or behaving nicely after school (before tea).

When we first did sticker charts dss (now 4 and 6) were quite happy just to have the sticker chart up in a prominent place as an indication of how good they were being. Now they need to have a 'reward' as well. Again we specify this on the chart - for example for 10 stickers, or for 10 stickers IN A ROW, or for 10 stickers within a week. Again the trick is to set a realistic target, which challenges them, but isn't utterly unattainable.

IME the sticker charts help me too. Sometimes I feel a bit down about their behaviour, but it's great to have a visual reminder posted up there on the wall, that actually most of the time they are pretty good.

HTH

Thank you for your posts. I definitely won't be taking stars away once given after your advice.
Am just trying to knock something up quickly on a spreadsheet and we are off to choose stickers (good idea marina) after school tomorrow.
Will let you know how we get on !!

We follow the same ideas as the others have mentioned but at the moment have 2 charts going, for 2 different issues. We have 2 different sticker shapes and dd is totally aware of which is which.

I think that by separating things it gives her a better chance to achieve at least one positive result in a day and keep her motivation going overall.

For example today she played very nicely when a friend came to play unexpectedly and shared her toys without being hassled but she didn't eat her lunch at nursery so she got one sticker on her behaviour chart but none on her 'trying new food at lunchtime' one. BUT, importantly, went to bed pleased with herself.

Thanks so much for this. I knocked up a star chart for ds1 and ds2 and they started on saturday. Ds1 has four things each day that he can earn stars for and ds2 has 3.
Ds1 needs a total of 15 (out of possible 28) and ds2 needs 12 (out of a possible 21) to get their "prize" which is to be taken to Pizza Hut next weekend. I made sure one of the things was something simple that they both usually achieve which is getting dressed without whinging. That way they get one star first thing and they are more eager to try and earn the others.
This is working really well, and i am looking forward to their "prize" too. One less meal to cook !!!!

Excellent news Kayleigh I'm glad it's working well for you ... Hope you all get your meal out at the weekend!

Just back from Pizza Hut !!!
If he gets his stars next week we're off ice skating. I'm hoping he doesn't make it