babsitter has just recommended we see a specialist for ds!

[chopstix]

Came back from a rare evening out & started chatting with babysitter about ds' tantrums, anger, screaming, etc. she thinks we sshould take him to someone she knows who specialises in child psychology. And I thought most 2-3 year boys & girls were "difficult"; infamous terrible twos etc. How do you know when you should consult? Too worried now to sleep!

dont worry hun. its only a problem if your finding it dificult to manage. i woudl wait until he is a little older and going to school. that way the teachers will notice if there is anything out of teh ordinary about his behaviour.

DD1 had absolutely monumental tamtrums at that age. Please don't worry about it, it's normal. I just used to give her time out in her room, it worked to the extent that she now (age 5) goes without being told when she feels that she losing her temper.

That's what I thought but to have babysitter (clever & sensible young woman) recommend "outside" help is a bit much! Weekends are hell because dh & I are so stressed by ds' behavior. He & his sister fight like cat & dog (normal) but these bloody tantrums are getting hte best of us. Ds seems to be constantly off to his room for a cooling down.

does the babysitter have children of her own?

Sometimes you get so caught up in managing issues within the family that you can't see when it may be useful to get another opinion. My dd1 was always a bit different to her peer group in terms of language. We always just put it down to normal differences between children (as did her hv) however, when dd1 went to school they picked her up as having some special needs in this area. It wasn't that we were unobservant parents, just that it can sometimes be difficult when you are in a situation to see when you should be asking for another, specialist opinion.

I don't know you or your little boy so I couldn't say whether your babysitter is right or wrong to say you should see a specialist, just that perhaps you should not dismiss her opinion out of hand.

I think a parent's instincts should far outweigh a babysitter (unless of course she happens to be a clinical child psychologist in her other life)

Until this 'babysitter' mentioned anything did you have the slightest doubt about your child? ... if no, then ignore her as an inexperienced person who maybe found a 'cushy job' a little more challenging .. after all babysitting is usually sitting in a house whilst kids are sleeping isn't it

If you did have concerns then it can't hurt to get an expert opinion

although I'll lay odds that its just an attack of the 2's

She should have seen my DS the other day screaming so hard that he was nearly sick ! Completely agree that parental instincts outweigh that of a babysitters unless she works in the field and is very experienced. My DD has dyspraxia, hypermobility & had speech and language delay and when she was about 3.5 a very good friend of mine approached me and said she thought she had Aspergers. I hit the roof, shot off to the HV, who said she was fine and I felt so angry towards my friend for a bit.

When she got to reception it became blatantly obvious that there was something wrong. My friend was wrong in what it was but had seen the early signs, which as parent who was struggling I couldn't see. I would put what this babysitter has said out of your mind for the moment but if things haven't improved in 6 months to a year, have a think about it again.

My dd is now a charming 9 year old. At the age of two she was having tantrums on a daily basis. One lasted two hours!. She once tantrumed all the way to Sainsburies (30 mins) , all the way round (30 mins) and all the the way home (30 minutes). That tantrum was so bad she looked as if she was having a fit!

These would happen at least 5 times a week, and I would often strap her in the pram to go for a walk, because the shouting (hers) never sounded so bad outside)

She can still trow a wobbly now. But these are now much rarer. He last major one was because she couldn't understand the concept of Prime Numbers in maths (!)

She is 9 with a reading age of around 14, plays the piano and the cello and sings like an angel. While getting help could be a good idea even NT children can be exceptionally challenging.....dd always was. Try not to worry too much

I'm with passionflower and martian, my 3 yr old DS had the most incredible tantrums (we called it his shock and awe campaign)

I would bet a million quid that your DS is completely normal.......

babysitter is no specialist but has a sister who's 19 & driving everyone round the twist, apparently. The sister's been "difficult" since she was born & after the bsitter listened to me grumble about life with ds, she tjhought maybe he might be on the same track. But when i asked my dad about it, he just laughed.

I think your babysitter, is just taking a wild guess, with no real reasons for her concerns, she seems slightly obsessed actually.
Your ds tantrums, anger and screaming is just him testing his boundaries, I say take no notice, he sounds like a typical 2yr old

Perhaps she is just trying to be supportive if she thought you were a bit stressed and thought that consulting an expert could help.

Tantrums are what the terrible 2 are all about, my DS went in more for rages, stomping and then uncontrolable sobbing, with occasional gagging thrown in. At 9yrs he still manages a good rage and stomp when required, but I suppose that is where he takes after his Dad. At least DH doesn't throw chairs at me, or bury himself in the dirty washing .