playing alone? (1-2 year olds)

[Evita]

Hi, just wondered how / what with / how long other people's kids play alone. My 15 month dd used always to love sitting on her own fiddling with various stuff for short periods (15-30 mins) but has recently gone off this altogether. She now wants my company to play and if I sort of set her off with something and then try to leave her she races after me and clings round my legs and pulls at my hand to get me to sit with her again. It's very sweet really but I wonder how I can also encourage her to like playing alone?

My DS (nearly 18 months) goes through phases of being happy with a big pile of books 'reading'(!) to himself or brummmming his cars around the room or doing puzzles or stickle bricks or mega blocks towers or play dough.

SOmetimes he will sit for ages doing one or all of these things....but sometimes he just wants me to play with him - daddy won't do - I guess it the way I do the 'neeeeenoooooors' for his little police car!!!

I think they go through phases...they are still babies really!

BTW - how is dd's speech coming on (following on from our other thread)?

I think at this age they are starting to go through a huge learning spurt. She is probably just hungry for new things at the moment. Once she gets through this spurt she may well settle down and consolidate what she has learned.

If it were me I would give her the time that she wants now in the hope that you give her a good foundation on which to build.

Wish my DS (2yrs) would learn to play alone! He has always been dreadful at this unless surrounded by other children - if it is just me and him then he has to have my undivided attention - even to the extent of watching videos. The only thing at the moment he will do by himself is playing with the kitchen sink and doing washing up.

ds (2.4) will sometimes play happily with his wooden trains for a couple of hours at a time. I'm not entirely sure that he sees it as playing "on his own" though as he seems to have assigned personalities to his trains and talks to them all the time - telling them where they're going, if they need to stop at the station, etc - so in his mind it's as if they are there keeping him company if you see what I mean.

not until they are 3

My dd now 15 months has always played on her own and entertained herself, but shuffles over for a sit on my knee/pulls on my legs every now and then.

I go to a toddler group on Friday's with her and she sits by herself playing with toys. Maybe she will be a loner like her mum 'I vant to be alone'.

oliveoil - my daughter was like that too for AGES. We used to think she was a bit of a loner. And she still is when it comes to other kids, but it seems that when I'm around I'm 'needed' almost constantly.

jmg - you're right I think. I am trying to give her all the attention she needs but occasionally I have to do the odd other thing and she's not happy about it! My little boss.

Popsycal - best new word is 'bogbah' for her grandma. She's besotted with her grandma and strokes her face in a photo uttering 'bogbah' under her breath. How's yours doing?

my dd 2 plays on her own and she loves it she does this role playing she will memorise a book(three little pigs is the fav) and she gets all her farm animals or dinosaurs and acts it out

Even when i play with her she role plays. Budding actress

Is there anything you can do to encourage them to indulge in a little solo play?

Hi there,
My 15 month old little boy has suddenly gone 'shy' clingy' when were around other children and some adults. Today I had a freind over with her lilltle one and he cried at my legs all day. Once they left he was content, playing happily doing his normal...Ive noticed this now on various occasions, He doesn't say a word yet normally his little mouth doesn't stop!! Is this a phase or am i just being paranoid? Any advice?

Christina, this is exactly the same age as my dd started doing this as you'll have seen from my original thread. She's now 16.5 months and is still the same. When she's home alone with me and / or dp she wanders round and fiddles with things and talks non-stop but when there are other people she keeps her eye on me all the time, if she's not clamouring to be held that is, and talks little. I think now that it's totally normal. I met up with a friend with a v. outgoing 2-year old girl yesterday and she's v. good at talking now but my friend said whenever there's someone else there she's shyer and talks much less. Even though she doesn't do the obviously 'shy' things my dd does.

Evita, Thanks for that, its nice to know im not the only one!!
spoke to health visitor today, she said im to paranoid, this is a phase and that i should just stay near him or in our case glued together! until he feels comfortable to get involved. Brilliant but sometimes you need to get to the loo or brush your teeth, you know?
I dont know maybe its a case of seeing so many of freinds and relatives children (all around same age) and they are these little confident people, theyll just get on with playing and talking even when they are out & not just at home and then my alex seems so insecure and scared almost. maybe im pushing him to hard!
sometimes he refuses to get out of his cot...NO is our new word for the week! Hes happy watching noddy, sucking his thumb and cuddling woof woof (cant do without him - teddy).
cant help but think thats not very good either!

For you id suggest fun loud games or sing songs that even if your little one is playing with her toys,and your getting on with your things, shell know your still kinda playing yet from a distance!
Cbeebies is amamzing but keep it to a limit, you dont want a tv addict like me! Poss involve her in what your doing? Alex loves a sponge and cleans my cupboards when im cleaning or doing bits in the kitchen!

Christiana, interesting to read fimbles' similar post wasn't it?

Actually if dd is playing alone and I say something to her from within the room or another room she instantly drops what she's doing and comes racing to my side as if she'd forgotten for a moment to be clingy! So I don't do that in general.

As I said in response to fimbles post, it sort of comes and goes with dd, the clinginess. Today at playgroup she was completely independent and running off all over the place. But it was v. quiet there today. When there's loads of other kids there she clings to me. But we're v. quiet at home and I'm sure it's partly the noise and bustle that confuses her.

Whatever the reason, one thing we do know, they love and are secure with us!