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Bossy 5 year old daughter has no friends - Any suggestions please.......

6 replies

stressedDad · 13/03/2013 21:06

We've just spent an hour calming our sobbing 5 year old daughter down. This is not her normal behaviour and it transpired that she was deeply upset because she says she has no friends at school.

She is very bossy, but full of imagination and likes having fun, but it seems that all the little girls in her class who have tried to play with her are bossed about in our daughters games, then she will not join in one of their games, or if she does she tries to change it to something that she wants instead.

The teachers have commented that she's a delight at school, very grown up for her age, but very direct when talking to the other children. I think we wouldn't mind her being bossy if she had some little chums to play with, but the bossiness is stopping the friendships from forming.

We actually think she's quite shy in certain situations, especially if she tries to join in with other childrens' games when she doesn't know them very well, but if they join in with her she'll boss them about and then want them to play her games going forward. The children seem to tolerate the bossiness for a while and then soon move on to less demanding children.

We're not sure what's best in this situation, but don't want the heartbreaking situation we endured tonight with our daughter sobbing her heart out saying that she has no friends.

Has anybody any suggestions?

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Virtuallyarts · 13/03/2013 21:11

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 13/03/2013 21:11

Just a thought but is it really the case that she had no friends? She's only little, is just coming to the end of winter term and is probably very tired and I think its easy for things to get blown out of proportion.

Could you do some role play with her and maybe invite one of the girls in her class over for a play date?

I'm sure someone will be along too with some better recommendations Smile

IndiansInTheLobby · 13/03/2013 21:16

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MrsMushroom · 13/03/2013 21:16

I think this is quite a common problem at this age...I've seen a few similar posts here lately!

Poor DD...it's a hard thing for a little one. There are a lot of books out on the subject...designed for kids... this one on Amazon and others you will see on the page.

I agree about the role play..perhaps regress yourself to your former 5 year old state...and then ask DD if she's like to play "X game" and come up with an idea yourself...see if she takes it on....help her to share in the making up of the rules etc.

Play lots of games with her daily as practice.

stressedDad · 13/03/2013 21:33

Dear All,

Thanks for your prompt and really helpful responses. We've ordered some of the recommended books, will speak to her teachers and will do more role playing games with her.

Thanks again for your help and suggestions.

OP posts:
MrsMushroom · 13/03/2013 23:11

It will get better...I've seen lots of DDs friends have similar problems. If they're not having a hard time for being bossy then they're having a hard time for being shy! It'll pan out. x

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