10 going on 13???

[mim77]

Has anyone got advice for a mum at the end of her tether??

My 10yr boy is a body full of attitude, back chat, aggresion and "it's not fair" and "you are soooooooooo sad". I seem to spend my days shouting and arguing and its now got to the point where my youngest is starting to copy his brother. Nothing seems to happen without an argument, homework, getting dressed, what time he has to be hme, what time he goes to bed, what he has for tea, everything and anything, if its not exactly what he wants to do, up like a bottle of pop he goes.....i am just so tired as I'm the one lying awake at night worried about being a bad mother and he is sleeping soundly.

Pushing your buttons, like that cute toddler he once was, only now lippy with it?

You're the boss of him. Be outstandingly civil, calm, matter of fact. Privileges fly out the window when he cheeks or argues.
Actions have consequences!

Access to laptop or playstation.
Socialising incl parties/after school activities.
Pocket money
TV
Mobile phone
etc

Allow yourself wiggle room ie don't be afraid to reflect, consider and even change your mind if satisfied he can argue his case. It's tough with the eldest setting rules and hearing "It's not fair!"
Always take with a pinch of salt, "Everyone else's mum lets them...".

If you have OH don't let him become Good Time Dad while you enforce rules. Do work together and present a united front. Back each other up, if you disagree only do so away from DS and stay united - don't one of you backtrack without the other being onboard or that person's authority will be undermined.

Another year and he'll be a little fish in the big sea of secondary school.

Thank you for this advice. I have been trying to stick with your suggestions for the rest of this week and so far so good!

We have actually managed a whole conversation about his behaviour without it ending in a screaming match.

Keep everything crossed that we have turned a corner!!!!

Just wanted to say that acting up at 10 seems to be quite common. Being the oldest in primary school goes to their head a bit and they start to think they should be in total control at home too. Also, the nerves about starting at secondary school start to kick in now, so it's an emotional time. Totally agree with everything Donkeys said, calmly stick to your guns, with consequences and it will calm down. Testing the boundaries before they head off to bigger and better things is normal, unfortunately!