3.5 year old not speaking coherently - when do I get worried?

[BeckyR]

DS2 is three and a half and, although he talks a lot, he is unintelligible to others outside the family for about half the time. We have been to a speech therapy group, which was a waste of time for him as it concentrated on listening (which he's pretty good at) rather than talking. We've been through the usual hearing tests - he seems fine.
DS1 talked early so this is a mystery to me. The speech therapist does not want to start one-to-one therapy until he is four - but is this leaving it too late? I feel like I want to do something now - am I just being too pushy?

My mum is not helping as she keeps telling me that he has a 'real problem' that should be sorted out asap. :-(

Can someone please advise? Thanks.

Does your ds go to Nursery or Pre-school? If he dos what does his Keyworker think.

my son has had speech therapy since he was 23 months so if the therapist doesnt feel it's necessary to work with him more in depth yet i would say he is probably not as bad as you imagine. sometimes we notice slight flaws with our children and we worry ourselves into making it a bigger deal than it necessarily is.

its quite normal for you to understand your child more than other people. it may just be that he gets very excited and speaks too fast. try getting him to slow down and repeat what it is he has said.

if he says words that although you understand he doesnt pronounce quite right try and repeat it back to him correctly so thathe hears the word as it is meant to sound. sometimes we get so used to hearing t=our children say the word that we dont even realise they have said it wrong ....or like me and end up adopting their way of sayin it and embarass yourself in th elocal sainsburys!

My DS was similar to this although a bit younger. I think if you want to try speech therapy you shouldn't have to wait. Try speaking clearly to him, look him in the face when you talk so he can mimic the movements your mouth makes. Don't interupt him or put words in his mouth (my MIL did this and I used to get cross), let him gather his thoughts and tell you in his own time. Six months might make the world of difference. TV doesn't help IMO - lots of one to one time, reading, playing snap and other games might help him focus on his speech perhaps.

Hope this pointers help you as they helped me.

DD had 1:1 language therapy when she was 3.5, she only attended once a week for half an hour but it really helped. She picked up really quickly. Can your DS make all the sounds in isolation? DD could but didn't use them in words so we had to practise that. When she said something, we had to repeat it back to her using all the sounds. We were not to make her repeat it back to us properly as just by hearing it enough, she would pick it up herself. Even now at 7, I don't feel her speech is as clear as her peers but she has been completely discharged by the SALT so she must be fine.

Thanks for your messages! He can make most sounds but struggles with 'c' and 'th'. He just doesn't bother with some words. 'Thank you' is 'duh duh' because he knows that people will recognise it.

It's hard to get a balance with repeating the correct sounds back to him. We've been doing this since he was two and we're all getting a bit tired of it (him included!). We have recently cut down on telly time, so this might make a difference.

My therapist tells me there's a link with left-handedness and delayed speech (he's left handed, as am I). She also said that there's a link between eczema and speech problems (ds1 had bad eczema when he was little). Has anyone else heard anything similar?

Pinotmum - yes he goes to nursery for three mornings a week. To be honest, they are led by what I tell them; they don't seem to have a great deal of knowledge about how to deal with problems like this - although they are very open to ideas. For instance, I told them about some of the exercises he had been doing at speech therapy classes, and they took these and worked them into the daily schedule for the whole class. I thought this was great as DS2 was not singled out, and it was made into a game.

Well that sounds great. To be honest my dd is now 5.6 yo and still struggles with "th". She has to be reminded to say "brother" and not "bruvva" and "thank you" not "fank you". She was an early talker as well. It doens't help that we live in East London and most of her classmates speak like that normally

Lol Pinotmum! The real trouble is that he just doesn't finish off his words. DS1 went through that stage when he was about 1.5, but quickly found his way out - DS2 seems to have got stuck!

Think I will phone the speech therapist for a chat. Just feel like such a jittery mum!

Yes, if you don't feel entirely happy then ring. After all you have his best interests at heart so that's all that matters. Good luck

DD had eczema as a baby, is left handed and had delayed speech. I have never heard of there being a link before but thats interesting.