Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Hmmm... my five-year-old is suddenly afraid of being alone. Normal development or a bit odd?

9 replies

Jacksmania · 12/03/2013 23:38

DS, 5.1, for the last several weeks has absolutely refused to be alone in a room, without DH or me being right there. If I leave a room, even if I tell him, "I'm just going upstairs for a minute", he leaps up from whatever he is doing and runs after me. He follows me everywhere. Won't even go to the loo by himself. Absolutely refuses to sleep in his bed by himself, insists on sleeping with us (which is fine, we co-slept when he was little and he still crawls in whenever he feels like it). I tried one night to put him in his bed once he'd fallen asleep, he woke up sobbing and calling for us from his bedroom just down the hall, and wouldn't settle for quite a while, so we haven't tried since.

I mentioned to DH that I'd like to go to a meet-up overnight in a few weeks. DS started sobbing and crawled into my lap, crying "Mummy, Mummy, please don't go away, please please please".

We've asked if anything's frightened him, what he's frightened of, and he says he doesn't know, he just doesn't want to be alone.

I have no other children, so nothing to compare him to, but inquiry among my friends hasn't been helpful. Everyone's shrugged and said "just a phase"... which is reassuring, on one hand, but OTOH, I don't know anyone else whose child has gone through a phase like this.

Any ideas?

TIA

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Gruntfuttocks · 12/03/2013 23:50

My DS now 12 was very much like this at that age and impossibly clingy for a long time. Never discovered why, other than that he is a fairly anxious child and always has been. I chose not to 'fight' it - telling him not to be so silly etc would just have upset him more. I think it's best to let them follow you and be close if they need to and trust that they will grow past this phase in their own good time. Hope it's just a phase and that all is well for you. DS is now reasonably confident and can be left alone in house for short periods, goes to shops up the road on his own etc, but up until a year ago wouldn't go upstairs alone, and still needs lights on to do it now...

Jacksmania · 13/03/2013 02:12

Oh, that's reassuring!

OP posts:
Jacksmania · 13/03/2013 02:13

Flowers meant to add thanks!

OP posts:
Jacksmania · 13/03/2013 05:37

Bump.

OP posts:
MrsMushroom · 13/03/2013 07:55

My DD did it at about 4 and a half...she's just turned 5 now and it's fading. I think it's to do with a sudden deeper awareness that there are scary things...I ahd to go to the loo with her and everything!

I

Jacksmania · 13/03/2013 14:53

Oh good - I'm not alone

OP posts:
SingingSands · 13/03/2013 15:01

I have literally just read about this in an email from Mumsnet about "now your child is 5"! It is mentioned as part of the child's development, so I assume it will be a phase we might meet soon as my DS turns 5 tomorrow.

MRSJWRTWR · 13/03/2013 15:06

DS2 (6yrs) has been like this for a while. Wont go upstairs by himself and I have to wait outside the toilet door for him when he needs to go. He also has a little night light but if he wakes during the night he comes in with me.

I think he has a very over active imagination. He loves myths and fairytales and anything to do with monsters and dragons etc but unfortunately then sees 'monsters' in the dark and has a tendency to have nightmares. We have to vet any tv and bedtime reading carefully.

DS1 (13yrs) was slightly different in that he was very anxious about me being around when he was that age. Getting out of the room at bedtime used to take ages and if I was going to the out in the evening he would get very upset or I would get endless questions about where I was going and when, exactly, would I be back. He has got alot better although it flared up a bit when he started secondary school.

I choose to just go along with it most of the time, fighting against it just seems to make the anxiety worse.

Jacksmania · 13/03/2013 17:09

We've definitely decided not to fight it, but rather be there when he needs us to be and if that means he sleeps with us for a few weeks, so be it. I was trying to imagine myself that small and how I'd feel if I told my parents that I was afraid and they laughed at me or dismissed my fears and felt horrible... it's such a small thing, and in a way it's lovely that he wants to be close to me (us) all the time.
It's good to know it's normal, though, so thanks all!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page