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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

My 1yr Old Keeps Biting Me :-(

18 replies

glowfrog · 12/03/2013 22:36

DD is 14 months and bites me every day - thankfully not my nipples anymore, but when we cuddle she'll just bite me, whether arm, neck or face... I keep telling myself it's her way of showing affection (!!) but was wondering if there's a good way to steer her away from this behaviour. I say No sternly and pull her away when she does it but it's not done anything yet.

I get extremely upset when she bites me - can't help it, the pain just makes me hulk out. I hate being/feeling angry towards her. :-( is it just a phase she'll get through soon?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Skygirls · 13/03/2013 03:20

DS1 favoured biting too, at around the same age. One day, he but really hard on my upper arm and I let out an almighty 'aaaaaaaaarrrrrgh'. It scared him a lot, and he didn't do it again.

DS2 bit and pinched. He grew out of the pinching but still bites ( but only on the loose skin bit on the elbow). He's 4 now and I don't know why he does it. Could it be my elbow skin is the blankie he never had?

k2togm1 · 13/03/2013 18:59

A good tip I read and used successfully was instead of getting angry you preempt the bite and say 'no biting, kissing!' And cover her in kisses. It worked for us!

Original poster

glowfrog · 13/03/2013 20:36

I will try that -thanks all!

OP posts:

Maebe · 13/03/2013 20:49

DD can do this at times. We've been trying something suggested on another thread, which is just putting her down away from us, or even walking out of the room if she is safe in that room - basically, that she gets no attention at all if she bites. It seems to be working gradually. Sometimes she doesn't notice, other times she does realise what has happened and isn't happy, so she has a few seconds of being upset and then comes for a cuddle and gets lots of attention for being nice.

That's for if she is biting deliberately - if it's a bite that she isn't really aware she is doing, I go for the distraction of cuddles, kisses etc.

PoppyWearer · 13/03/2013 20:51

My DC2 went through a phase of really painful biting around 12-14mo. Now 18mo he has stopped, thank goodness. It seemed to be teething-related and he only ever bit DH and I. It was horrendously painful. But mercifully it was just a phase, and I hope you get through it soon!

We tried everything to stop it, BTW, nothing worked.

Supermim · 13/03/2013 21:37

This may sound a bit cruel, but bite her back when she does it (obviously not too hard). She won't do it again.

Original poster

glowfrog · 13/03/2013 22:35

Hmm - not sure about biting back - apart from anything else, I'm worried I'll bite too hard!!

OP posts:

InkleWinkle · 13/03/2013 22:55

I can't believe anyone would even think its acceptable to bite a child

Jojobump1986 · 13/03/2013 23:04

My DS (16m) bites. He's like an over excited puppy! When I see the open mouth coming at me I just remind him 'no teeth' & hold him off for a second before slowly letting him get close enough to kiss me. It's usually when I'm not paying close enough attention that he manages to catapult his head at me & sink his teeth in. For him it's definitely an over-excitement thing - holding him back for a moment is enough to calm him.

FWIW, I don't think retaliation will help. No matter how much you want to throw them across the room just to get them away from you...!

Supermim · 14/03/2013 19:36

oh get over it - they need to know it hurts then they won't do it again. I don't mean chewing on them like a dog with the bone. Oh and it works with pulling hair as well, pull theirs back and they won't do it again.

Maebe · 14/03/2013 20:33

Supermin, I didn't respond to your comment the other day because this didn't seem an appropriate thread to pick an argument, but your "oh get over it" is absolutely unbelievable.

It is not appropriate to deliberately hurt a child. In any circumstance. I can't believe anyone thinks that it is.

Advocating biting them or pulling their hair to show them that it hurts is no different from bending them over your knee and spanking them if they do they something you don't want them to do.

My 14mo still isn't 100% certain of cause and effect. A few weeks ago she bit be, painfully, and catching me by surprise, and I did yell and I put her down on the floor far more abruptly that I should have done. It's not a moment I am proud of but I was shocked by the unexpected pain. It upset her, and I imagine it caused very much the same response as if I had bit her. And do you know what? She's bitten me since. So how on earth would biting her (god, it's horrible even writing that sentence, I know how awful I felt having accidentally scared and upset her) have taught her not to do it?

How can you possibly believe that a child that young will understand well enough that one bite will solve the problem, that they will know you are biting them because they bit you?

k2togm1 · 14/03/2013 21:09

Ok, they may not bit you again if you bite back, but what lesson are you teaching them?? That it is ok to bite smaller defenceless kids. I'd rather be bitten myself.

k2togm1 · 14/03/2013 21:10

Meant to italize you, not cross it!

wonderstuff · 14/03/2013 21:20

I could not believe the number of people who recommended biting back when my baby went through this phase. Her key worker at nursery suggested it I never did. It passed pretty quickly, once she learnt to talk a little and could communicate in other ways.

harrogatehussy · 14/03/2013 21:22

Seriously, biting a child Supermim? Pulling their hair? wtf?!?!?! I really have heard it all now.

InkleWinkle · 14/03/2013 21:45

What Maebe said ^^

There was a thread last night with a poster asking for advice on how to stop a young child head butting. I shudder to think what your advice would be for that supermim

Supermim · 15/03/2013 07:43

Well, so sorry to have upset a couple of people but, as wonderstuff has stated, I am not the only one suggesting this method. Incidentally, I have two lovely daughters, now aged 15 and 20, with whom I have a very close relationship and neither of whom would hurt a fly. Just so you know.

scottishmummy · 15/03/2013 07:57

Adult Biting a child,or purposefully pulling hair to reprimand is abuse.
Abuse. Not a behavioral technique
I'm appalled at this suggestion.if nursery nurse bit child would you think that'll model better behaviour?

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