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Toddler terrified of everything and very clingy - help!

5 replies

buttonspoon · 12/03/2013 18:41

My daughter is 2.4 and has been in full time nursery since about 11 months. She loved it and apparently was very affectionate and played with other children very well. No concerns at all with her behaviour or development.

However with us (me and DH) she has always been very clingy and is now very controlling - wanting us together at all times, crying if one of us tries to do anything on their own etc. she is also terrified of everything especially animals, and although talks about them enthusiastically, will scream hysterically and need calming down if a bird goes within 5 metres of her or if we pass a dog in the park etc.

We have just moved abroad and so I'll be looking after her full time (at the moment). Where we live is hot and beautiful and has amazing beaches. She screams if we try and take her anywhere near the beach, she won't walk on anything other than concrete (so not grass, sand or anything else). She wants to be carried everywhere and climbs up us if we put her down to walk.

I've just had a play date with three other children of the same age who were all happily running round naked and splashing in the paddling pool - my DD clung to me and refused to let me do anything or talk to anyone (I'm trying to make friends in a new country so this is really tough). She warmed up a bit and played a tiny bit with one of the other children but I had to be sat next to her the whole time. She is now sat inside watching peppa pig (which is the only thing she wants to do and all hell will break loose if I try to do anything else with her) and I am looking out at gorgeous sunshine in a garden we never dreamt about in the uk and I just want to cry because I want to go out.

I'm finding it so hard. Is this normal? Will it get any better? What can I do to get her to try new things, stop clinging to me and live a little?! I can't bear the idea that we've moved here to sit inside and watch peppa pig all the bloody time when there is sunshine outside.

Help!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
msbossy · 12/03/2013 19:09

DD1 started doing this when DD2 was born. Absolutely fine in familiar situations but excessively clingy and anxious at other times. She's improved a lot of late but is still terrified of dogs, dentists etc. I would imagine your move abroad has unsettled her. Reassure her and try not to let your frustration show (v hard!).

PirateHat · 12/03/2013 19:18

She's just moved to a new country and stopped going to her nursery, these are massive changes.

I think you need to relax. Peppa is probably something familiar and comforting to her, as is having her parents closeby. Don't push her away and force her to get out there, give her time. I'm sure she will be ready soon to enjoy the beach and sunshine.

fififrog · 12/03/2013 22:19

Even without having moved to a new country, my DD is afraid of all sorts of pointless crap (dustpan and brush???!) an I'm sure yours won't want to stay away from the paddling pool for long!

loler · 12/03/2013 22:28

It's a stage she'll grow out of - I can remember dd screaming in terror at the dust motes floating around in the car. I found the best way to cope was to laugh at it!

PS can I come and stay for a bit and try and take her to the beach? You are welcome to my completely non-clingy dc (they are at the go away you're embarrassing me stage)

buttonspoon · 13/03/2013 11:33

Thanks all. I guess that I'm worried because she has always been like this and I see no sign of it ever ending. I know I need to give it time but it's hard as I need to get out and make friends for both her and my sakes and it makes it so hard when she just clings to me and cries.

To be honest, I find other people's children a lot easier! Especially if they are even slightly independent and able to play on their own for five minutes! I can't remember the last time I went to the loo in peace or lay in bed on my own. (Oh yes her sleeping is appalling and she sleeps in bed with us as the hysterical screaming if we try and make her sleep on her own goes on for hours...). I haven't had more than about three hours sleep in a row at night for over a year. Because she doesn't sleep properly even with us, she tosses and turns all night and has nightmares so wakes up screaming. She used to be better but has been terrible for a year. We only moved a couple of weeks ago btw so it's not to do with that.

Sigh...

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