Safe co-sleeping - can you tell me how you do it?

[Lampfamm]

DD is 5 1/2 mths old. I have always put her in her cot since birth mainly because I am too afraid to bring her into our bed. This worked out fine because she slept fairly well and the cot is right beside me anyway.
Howver since about 4 mths she wakes 3-4 times a night and more recently has not been getting back to sleep easily. When she wakes for good - around 5 or 6am I bring her in with us because I know I won't go back to sleep but would perhaps like to bring her in with us some nights when she is harder to settle. On those occasions I would obviously wanting to get more sleep too.
So, how do I make sure she is safe? Is she still too small to be in our bed? Will dh have to move out?!
Also she is ebf and I find feeding lying down tricky for some reason (angles/positions/keeping myself comfortable) so any tips on this would be appreciated too. Thanks

I've been co sleeping with my baby since he was born. I think I've only done one full night without him in 11 weeks. The co sleeping 'position' is you laying on your side with your lower arm above the baby's head, and your knees curled up beneath their legs. In this position it is impossible for you to roll forwards on top of the baby, as your arm is in the way. Your DH can keep sharing the bed with you, it's up to you if you put the baby between you, or just keep her in your side by the edge. I use a blanket rolled up between DS and DH, and move it to along the edge of the bed when DS is on that side. I wake up as soon as DS stirs, without him having to cry, as he's close by and I'm aware of him at all times, even when asleep.

The risk factors are smoking, drinking, drugs/medication, deep sleepers, memory foam mattresses, saggy mattresses, duvets and pillows. If either you or your DH come under the first few, you shouldn't co sleep. If your mattress is memory foam, be aware this is warmer and dress baby a little cooler. Saggy mattress can be a risk if its likely you, DH or baby can roll into the middle onto baby. Duvets and pillows are ok on the bed, but should not be on or near the baby.

I bought a large fleece blanket for our bed so DS could share with us. Alternatively you should bring duvet up to your waist (not on baby at all) and cover baby with their own breathable blanket.

As for feeding laying down, the key I found us position of your shoulder on the bed. If you move your shoulder away from you toward baby, your nipple will angle up higher toward ceiling, move shoulder underneath you and your nipple will be lower. Once your at the right height, put your DD on her side beside you, lining nipple height with her nose. Figure out pillows to keep your head and neck comfy, and maybe one behind you that you can lean back on (or your DH).

Wow, was going to ask exactly the same question. DD slept through every single night 10-11 hours from 6-10 weeks but since then waking up lots every night and still only 20-30 minutes naps. She's now 16 weeks. I also take her with me in our bed early in the morning but I never sleep properly after that. My husband works night shift so I usually move to the other end of the bed once she's asleep but more difficult at weekends. I really worry about the duvet though. Thought of using 2 singles instead. And also struggle to find the right position to bf. Quite often her nose is pushed into my breast so I have to push it in so she can breath. And I'm always not really comfortable and very cold. Hope there will be more replies with advice. Seems there are lots of co-sleepers on here.

I'm co-sleeping with my 4th baby. I clear all pillows out of the way, tuck mine behind me, hold baby in the crook of my arm til fast asleep then gently move her slightly away from me. I hear her snuffling for food and bring her close in, all without properly waking.

It help that OH is in the spare room for now (dd is only a few weeks old) so we have the whole bed to ourselves . When they are older they tend o make their presence known anyway.

A good tip is to wear a cardigan then you can keep warm but keep the covers way down at waist level away from baby's face.

It's amazing how instinctive it all is. Don't be afraid to do it, as long as you haven't had a drink, done drugs, are overweight etc etc yada yada.

At that age I would have your side of the bed pushed up against the wall. DS has always slept in a sleeping bag, on my side not DH's. I used to have the duvet down to my waist and sleep with my arm under my pillow, so DS was well away from it. Wear a pyjama top unbuttoned to keep warm. I found feeding lying down didn't work well until about 5 months, when DS was a bit bigger.

I used to put ds2 in his Moses basket, then put that on the bed. I was a very heavy sleeper and worried about rolling on him, the Moses basket ensured that I couldnt

Thanks for your replies. We've nothing against us risk wise for trying it, only my apprehension and worry that I'll suffocate her.
When I bring her in I do move the duvet right down, and as she is in a gro bag she seems to be warm enough. Dh is like a chuffin radiator anyway.
Thanks, Stacks for the details, I will spend some time practising the feeding postions during the day I think. When I'm tired I don't care if my arm is getting pins and needles, I just want her to finish!
Can I also ask, do you go to bed the same time as your baby? I just mean because you co-sleep do you find that you have a different bedtime routine??
Thanks for your replied so far, all very helpful.

At that age, could you remove a cot side (if it's not supporting cot) and tie it onto side of bed? I did that and found I could lean right into the cot to cuddle or even feed. Those were the days! Now too crawly to do that. Also, I found a sleeping bag for me was ideal, it didn't seem to have risk of going on baby and kept me warm.