DS at pre-school...

[reallyyummymummy]

DS now nearly 4, is at pre-school and due to start school in September.

His pre-school have said that he is not ready to do the "school-readiness" class because he is unable to sit still and concentrate for any period of time.

I am meant to be having a meeting with the nursery next week about his progress and I am wondering if it would be fair to insist that he gives it a go to see how he gets on.

To add some perspective to this question when we are at home he will sit and concentrate on whatever we are talking about, he is good at asking questions and interested in learning. When he is at pre-school apparently he struggles with sitting down and asks questions when it is not appropriate. They have kept him in the younger group because of this and I am not entirely sure it is the right decision.

Jesue he's 4!

And he won't have to sit still and concentrate for periods of time because reception is play based, active and not sit down teaching. Reception teachers are used to this and from Sept - Dec is when all the children learn the behavior and expectations of them in the classroom setting. My DS now in Y6 used to have a nap some afternoons in reception and that was OK. Teachers are more concerned if they can get dressed and undressed themselves and use the loo, but if they can't that's ok too. He will be totally fine and get used to what he can and cannot do.

Preschool need to back off and stop worrying you over absolutely nothing, what do they want him to do? Sit for an hour and do a crossword? Your son sounds completely fine and totally normal to me, he sounds like he's very enthusuastic and wants to be involved and learn, which is a great thing! Do not worry.

No grants, he will have to sit down for periods of up to 20 or even 30 minutes in reception. They have carpet time when they are read to or taught phonics...and then they are expected to sit and listen as well as to respond when appropriate.

It is not helpful to the OP to suggest preschool need to back off...they are trying to prepare the DS for the change which reception brings about.

OP...if he sits still and listens etc when he is at home, is it possible I wonder that the noise and bustle of preschool in general is distrubing his ability to concentrate.

Some kids just get into play mode and find it hard to transition. Also, when did yo last have his hearing tested? It might be worth looking at that to see it's fine.

Something to try at home might be a game where he has to do a lively activity such as hopping or jumping for a minute or two....then at your sign, he must sit on a designated area and listen carefully for his next "challenge" which could be a fun thing such as "throw the ball into the bucket and see how many hits you get".

this will reinforce the idea of changing activities.

I should add...my DD is just turned 5 and in reception so pretty much a year older than your DS OP.

She's not found the transition hard but learning phonics and writing has taken it out of her a bit! However the school have told me that they all pick this up at different rates.

I think I'd try to use the meeting to find out exactly why he can't sit still in their setting, but can at home.

Assuming the setting is not particularly chaotic, it might be worth googling auditory processing disorder (sorry, on phone so too much effort to paste links!)

Finally, a classroom environment is very different from most nursery environments so don't worry unnecessarily. There will be children joining in September who have no preschool experience, so the lack of a school readiness class will not put him at a disadvantage.

I agree ith Mrs. M and Never.

You need to use the meeting to find out why he can't sit still. Roughly ime non-sitters are one of

1. Sits still for a bit, then forgets and wanders off
2. Mischievous/pushing boundries just to test what happens if they don't sit
3. Just not wanting to
4. Really unable to.

My ds was a mixture between 2 and 3. Finding something that helps-can be reward, something simple they can remember like when they hold a teddy they don't get up or making sure they understand and can hear everything.

Being able to sit and concentrate at home on something one to one is very different to being one of a group listening to instruction/information they have to process and find what is relevant to them.

I would ask the nursery: What are they expecting him to be able to do to join the group? (eg how long to sit, what sort of activities)
Will he be able to join the group?
When (potentially) can he join the group?
Are there others his age not ready? Is it typical some of his age won't be ready?
What happens if he still doesn't seem ready in the summer term? Can he try anyway?
How can you help?
How are they going to help?

If they say all others are ready, then it may be worth asking if he can give it a go, but they would be reasonable to say no.
You don't want him split from his peer group. But if you have 10 4yo and one gets up and wanders off, then it is much more likely another will. One getting up, often sets off others getting up, and it's much harder to persuade them to sit still if there's one playing in the background.
Also if they let him do it to try and then say it's not working and want to stop it, will it effect his confidence, or upset him?

But as others have said, other preschools won't be doing this, so it won't disadvantage him.