Bedtime routine help

[scoobdoob]

Hi this is my first message and doing it on my phone so hope its ok. I have a nearly 7 and nearly 2 year old and getting them bed and fitting in storys etc is getting later and later. Also fitting in school reading.

She is on ort stage 7. This I understand is below average for her age. We try to read a book a night to get her onto the next level. This is her choice.

So our routine at the moment is reading at some point in the evening. This is difficult as her sister wants my attention so often leave it until bed.
Put the two year old to bed with bath story etc. Normally asleep about 7.30-8. Then go into her sister who is supposed to be in pjs and be reading to herself. She doesn't enjoy reading herself so is usually messing around. Then she reads her school book does spellings and then has a couple of chapters of a book read to her. By this time it is at least 8.30-9 so she is going to sleep very late. They won't let thier dad put them to bed and he says I squeeze to much in but I feel storys and listening to her read are important. I work and normally all back home for 5.30 for tea.
So after that long essay.
Am I doing to much?
Does she need to read every night?
Any tips for a quicker (less than 2 hours) for them with bedtime?
Does she sound behind with her reading level?
Any tips at to get her to read to herself in bed?
I still read to her each night and feel guilty if I don't. What age did you read to your children to?
Thanks for any advice and hope I have done this right.

Your 2 year old does not need a bath every night, do they? So changing that may free up some time on some evenings.

Your 2 year old should not need your undivided attention all the time, especially in early evening when they are getting tired and should be able to sit somewhere a while.

You do not mention TV, it can be useful as wind-down for 2 year old, giving you some time to spend with your 7 year old.

I would aim for something like:

6pm - 2 year old DVD/TV, 7 year old reading/homework
6.30pm - Get both children ready for bed, this could include bathtime as and when needed.
7pm - put 2 year old to bed. Meanwhile 7 year old does something she likes to do to wind-down such as listening to story CD, listening to music, watching DVD/TV.
7.30pm - you read to 7 year old
8pm - all nice and quiet, with luck, so adult time for you and DH.
6pm-8pm - DH tidys up, makes dinner for you and him.

Does she need to read every night?
No but it can help to repeat things. Little and often is the key I feel.

Any tips at to get her to read to herself in bed?
Don't push things - find things she wants to read. Children do not all like stories, some far prefer factual books. Some like comics and magazines.

What age did you read to your children to?
I've read books to children until they have got to teenage... they soon tell you when they do not want you to continue doing it.

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Thanks so much for that. I am going to try that routine from tomorrow! I think I had just got in such an uptight state I couldn't see the wood for the trees if that makes sense.
I know I also need to stop listening to friends and what their children do/don't do.

My husband doesn't help as he thinks I am obsessive about things. He really needs to be on my side. My 7 year is so anxious and has a school phobia at the moment. I feel by encouraging her and helping her progress with reading may help.

we do homework straight after school including reading and then they are not so tired. My dd didnt read by herself for pleasure until the age of 8ish - up until then she was read to at bedtime. I would keep homework separate from bedtime so it doesnt interfere with the bedtime routine.

Vary the timings to suit... your eldest may only feel like doing 15 mins of reading/homework. Try to aim for quality over quantity - them reading a few pages well is better in my view than them struggling through lots of pages, though there will be times when she will want to finish the book so that she can move on a stage.

Do talk to your child's teacher about her reading (and school in general if she is having school phobia), see if her teacher can give you helpful suggestions and see if the reading scheme is not as ridged about reading every book before going up a level - then your daughter may not feel so pressured to finish a book a night.

Yes thats a good idea about the levels. She seems to think she has to get each book read. Maybe they could jump a level if she is doing ok. Homework straight after school is difficult on work nights but going to keep it separate from bed. I can definitely see the benefits in that. School are great about her anxiety in that they are doing one to one counseling. I never thought it would be this hard. Everyone else seems so much more on the ball than me. I do blame myself that she seems so un happy. I need to chill out I know. But try to be easy going in front of her. I am going to get bedtime cracked. Thanks both for your input.

If you can get your 2 yr old in bed earlier, I'd go for that option if possible, freeing up some time for you and your 7 yr old.