Come tell me dd isn't really behind for her age...

[BeaWheesht]

Tool dd to doctors today as she's been unwell - when nurse listened to her tummy she was aghast to see she's still in nappies and told dd she was far too old to be wearing nappies.

Dd is 2y5m - I had planned on potty training at the start of January but we've all been ill with various things since then.

So, tell me, is she really 'far too old' ????

It is not an instant process. Start now, don't pressure it, just introduce it.

Well thanks for that kiwi, something else to beat myself up about. DS1 turned 3 last month & still isn't potty trained. I have tried & tried but he just won't get it. I also have a 5 month old and severe PND, do you still think I'm lazy?

Oh shut up kiwi.

You are certainly entitled to your opinion but it is a judgmental rigid one. And IMO total bunkum .

Don't worry about it OP. I am the most unlazy person ever. I am a lone parent with two SN dc, I HE one child, study with the OU and run 10km 4 x a week. My children were just gone 3 when I started and trained within two weeks. Why go looking for work and stress for you AND dc?

The problem with smugly judging and deciding that later toilet-training is only okay if there are medical issues/SN involved, is that often those issues/SNs aren't diagnosed until the child is much older. Meanwhile you've upset the child's parents with your judgey remarks, just so that you can feel superior to someone else for 5 minutes. Is it really worth it?

2yrs 5mths really isn't that old. It's possible that the nurse assumed your dd was older than she really is. I've already been asked if my dd will be starting in Reception in September. She's not even old enough for pre-school yet.

Someone has to counter-act wave after wave after wave of mis-information from Pampers and co about potty training. Don't beat yourself up, you just did what you were told to do. It's just that you were told wrong.

Our mothers did it the right way. Start as soon as they can sit, put them on the potty when they wake up from a nap, make the potty become part of their lives. By 11 months, most poos and wees will be on the potty. By 2, they will be asking for it by themselves. And I know this because there are hundreds and hundreds of parents who still do it the old fashioned way, and have had success with it. We're relatively silent, because we don't have millions to spend on advertising to mothers, to 'advise' them to wait till they're 3.

I'm aware I'm ranting. I'm sorry. I just HATE seeing piles and piles and piles of plastic going into landfill completely unnecessarily. Like it or not, late training IS responsible for that. It's disgusting.

The other downside is that the age between 2-3 is when children are naturally defiant and reluctant. Start at 11 months, they're more than happy to sit there and be read to, sung to, and they want to please you. The result is a long, slow, tearless, battleless introduction to toileting. Just like teaching them to use a fork or dress themselves. Slowly, slowly catch a monkey.

Kiwi you can relax about my late training DS, since he's wearing terry squares, some of which are on their fourth child. And we don't use wipes. So no need for pearl clutching about landfill.

There are plenty of other things that a typical three year old can do and he can't. He's young for his age. So what?

My DS was trained just after 2 years old. I was smug and judgey. Then I had DD - 3.6 now and whilst we've just about cracked the wee's - poo's are a whole other issue! Each child is different and reaches the milestones at their own rate.

Alright, I'll knock it off. That's my pearl clutching done for the day

DD2 potty trained at 2yrs 9 months (dry day and night in three days so waiting until she was REALLY ready made it very easy). She is very definitely not developmentally challenged in any way. I would say it is just an old fashioned view and don't worry about it.

Fair enough. I hate the waste of disposables too.

Slowly, slowly catch a monkey.

Or, you know, wait until they're ready and do it in under a week. Our mothers used to train very early as washing out terry nappies every day wasn't exactly a bundle of laughs. Nor was the constant nappy rash. And as a result, potty training was generally something that took a very long time.

Kiwi - you do it your way, and let others do it theirs.

I really don't know what people think will happen if they don't do it quick sharp, the moment they hit, say, 18 months - still be in nappies at 15 years of age...?! Well, as we all know, that simply doesn't happen.

I also don't know a single child who was trained 3+ who has any "isshoes". Again: scaremongering.

Why spend months and months trying to train them when they are not ready? With all the associated extra washing and a possibly upset toddler who doesn't like having accidents when you can wait for them too be ready and then do it in a matter if days?

My four boys all trained at different ages, ds1 was 18mths and did it himself, ds2was 2 coming up for three as was ds3 and ds4 was 3yrs 5mths, he just wasn't ready before then but got it in two days once he was, no accidents from then onwards.

Dd is 26mths and not ready yet.

Waiting doesn't create issues, making a young toddler try when they are not ready can definitely create issues and upset tho.

Seriously once they are trained no one cares what age they were trained, its not something asked on their UCAS form etc.

Oh and advice has also changed as there is now more medical knowledge on his it works and when babies are physically able to control their bladder and when their hormones change and instigate night dryness etc. Babies of 11mths aren't physically capable of controlling their bladder, you may get lucky and 'catch' them emptying it, but that isn't toilet training in the proper sense of them being aware and in control if the function.

As long as the child is toilet trained before they start school, (SN and medical reasons aside) I personally don't see the problem with waiting until they were ready. I wouldn't bat an eyelid at a 2.5yo in nappies.

Yes I am interested in what the "ishooooes" are too?

it doesnt necessarily take an age when training early - my DD went into pants at 1y9m with a pull up for daytime sleep and a nappy at night. pullup went at her birthday and still wondering when to bite the bullet re. overnights (2y7m). did the gina in a week method - took 3-4 days.

FWIW she had horrific nappy rash regularly despite all manner of prescription barrier creams and frequent changes so we had a huge incentive to get her out of nappies.

Both of mine were nearly 3.
Ds1 was dry by day within one day and ds2 managed to be dry day and night in a week.
Don't stress.
Wait til summer when she can run around without a nappy on.
Good luck x

11 months!?
Is that a joke?
Basic child physiology tells us that a child is simply incapable of controlling either sphincter until past 18 months.
By all means sit them on a potty and read to them, but they might as well be on a comfy chair!

No its doesn't necessarily take an age if done early ds1 trained at 18mths, but if a child is ready it won't take ages. But they have to be ready and it us related to neurological development and bit something you can force, some are ready earlier but others are not. I have had one train at 18mths and one at 3 yes 5mths, both trained in a few days and both are normal.

Exactly 5mad - it doesn't necessarily take ages when you do it early. DD turned 2 and it happened in under a week.

The point was - she was ready, which is why it happened so quickly. But all children will be ready at different ages.

That an 11 month old cannot control their bladder is nonsense. Newborns choose to wee when you take nappy off we train them to go in nappies! Mine is 13 months and can certainly control her bladder, as she deliberately wees and poos on potty......not that she's ready to go nappy free . My reason for putting her on potty early was my experience of my first daughter and poo withholding.

www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/A-Potty-Training-Age-Readiness.html

I think the fact babies wee when your take their nappy off is that the pressure from the securely done up nappy is then released, but will agree to disagree.

My DD was potty trained by 18 months. But my DS chose to continue using nappies until he was 3.5yo (definitely his choice - he told me he would stop using nappies when he went into Nursery class and he did).

At best parents can gently persuade, but you can't work against your child's natural preferences, development and personality.