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Behaviour/development

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behaviour - DS 3yrs 2months

2 replies

DerbyNottsLeicsNightNanny · 27/02/2013 21:19

DS has never been what you would describe as 'good', dont get me wrong, he can be a total angel, but can also be terrible. We are in a particularly terrible phase at the moment & he is playing up particularly badly for me, my parents & DH (the people who he spends most time with & is therefore prob most comfortable with).

We are still trying to potty train, he spent 6hrs at childminders today in pants with no accidents, lots of wees on potty & toilet. Was also perfectly behaved for her all day. I pick him up, take him to my parents who were looking after nephew (who DS LOVES) and within 10mins he had wet himself (knew where potty/toilet were), and was playing up big time. This is just one e.g.

Other e.g's include meltdowns, the after effects can last for HOURS every time he wants something which he cant have/everytime we tell him 'no' - however nicely we do it, being naughty and nasty at toddler groups - to me, my Mum & other children.

Writing this down it doesnt sound that extreme, and in the grand scheme of things I suppose its not - I know they all have their moments, but any advice for dealing with things when we are in a particularly bad phase?

Its such a shame because often the bad behaviour comes right when in theory DS could be having a lovely time, e.g. at toddler group, seeing DN, at soft play etc.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
JessHelicopter · 28/02/2013 08:59

Hello! I have a DS who is 3 in May. He is normally good but since 2.5 has had DREADFUL tantrums about EVERYTHING....putting his shoes on, he doesn't want to wear that top, why can't he take ALL his toys to nursery, can he have cake instead of cereal...etc etc! And he will do it anywhere. Obviously i haven't conquered these battles completely but i have a few things that definitely help.

First and most obvious is threaten to take something away..."if you don't calm down, you can't have biscuit, park, tv". This only occasionally works.

Secondly, good old supernannies' naughty step. I wasn't sure if DS was too young for this but actually it really helps him calm down from a meltdown. BUT you have to perservere. It's SO tedious.....even this morning i had to pick him off the floor (where he kept throwing himself) and plonk him back on the step about 400 times before he sat there (wailing) for the 2 minutes. But by the end he knows what he's done (if you ask him) and will apologise.

The third thing which we are just about to introduce is a star chart. Which can apply to everything from eating all his dinner, putting his toys away, having "so" many trips to the potty/toilet. Then if he gets say 5 stars in a day, he gets a little present. Maybe some stickers, or cheapy little toy car or (sometimes) sweets?

I don't know if this is at all possible but perhaps he had an accident at your parents and then got really embarrassed and self conscious about it which made him play up?

Btw i know how utterly exhausting and relentless tantrums are. They make you lose the will to live and/or want to have a meltdown yourself! I don't know if any of these things will help but it might help to know you have some moral support from over here?! :D

DerbyNottsLeicsNightNanny · 28/02/2013 15:58

Thanks jess, he has been lovely today only a few very minor 'moments', has been in nappies all day, though god knows what we're going to do about toilet training! He will only do it for childminder! Glad to know its not just meGrin

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