I'm looking for advice regarding my 4 almost 5 year old ds.
He started school Sept 2012 and since then there have been a few small problems with behaviour. I've noticed that since he started school his behaviour at home is a bit worse.
His teacher has described him as being a nice good boy, he is developing as he should be, but she says he has no social barrier. And his behaviour at times is inappropriate, although she thinks he just doesn't realise, not that he's naughty. She described this for example as if they're all in the classroom and they are learning something and for example it's a new word which he doesn't understand, he will laugh out loud. She also said he's attracted to the more silly groups of boys who want to play rough and fighting.
Recently there was an incident where ds and a group of 4 other boys were playing very roughly in the playground and I was told about this by another teacher as his main teacher wasn't there. I asked ds about this but the way in which he described it to me was that the other boys were saying that he was the bad guy in a game and picking on him, hitting him and pulling his nose, he even said he had his head smacked up the wall, I asked him if he'd hit or got involved and he admitted he had but only beause they were 'saying he was the bad guy'. I was obviously very concerned, I spoke to his main teacher about it as soon as I could. His teacher said that this was not the case and he was just as much involved, it's on CCTV and I've asked to have a look, not that I'm disputing the teacher at all but I would like to see it for myself.
I'm also really confused as ds version of most things doesn't really tie in with what I'm told. Ds has/had a 'best friend' a different boy, the boys mum has even talked to me about their friendship along the same lines as I thought and they've played together at parties. However ds teacher said that they don't play together at all and ds plays with the other boys. Which has really confused me, when ds talks about the other boys he talks about them hitting and bothering him and he doesn't like them. However his teacher says he chooses to play with them. I don't really know what to do or think, I can't really dispute what the teacher is telling me, but I also don't disbelieve ds when he tells me that he doesn't like these boys.
I never really had any problems with ds before he started school, nursery had nothing but praise for him. And he was really well behaved at home.
As he's getting older I am noticing that he's slightly immature perhaps in some situations. He still thinks nothing of wandering off in a supermarket and I have to keep reminding him, he is quite outspoken in asking for things particuarly sweets and especially if he's been given them before, in terms of if we're visiting someone, or if we've been somewhere and he's been given a lollipop he'll expect it each time and ask despite me explaining to him beforehand not to ask unless he's offered. I feel that these things are becoming more apparent as he's getting older as they didn't seem to be a problem when he was 3 but I'd have expected him to grow out of it now that he's getting older. He can be really argumentative, he seems to want to negotiate every little thing.
Sorry it's long, I don't really know where to start, the version of what goes on at school that I get from ds is completely different to what the teacher tells me. But I obviously need to get some strategies in place to deal with inappropriate behaviour, but it's difficult to know where, his behaviour isn't necessarily naughty, it' perhaps more just annoying and immature and aside from keep reminding him, what else can I do?
Any advice greatly appreciated...