not liking the word no

[bradeymom]

my 16mo son doesn't like to respond to the word no. he constantly wants to play with things he shouldn't and wont move or anything when i say no. i try to reason but he is starting to turn round now and smile and laugh at me as if to say... she is at it again and im not budging. . im knackered as i feel im being ignored and wasting my time and energy.

16 months is very young. I think they like the attention. I say no and if it doesn't work I remove and distract (17 mo). I think I'll be doing this for a while longer!

She's too young. You can say no but you need to reinforce it by removing her from the situation and distracting her with something else and lots of positive attention.

We had some success with substituting 'give that to mummy please' or 'put it back' for 'no', where possible.'No' still drives dd bonkers now (she's nearly 2) - but sometimes it has to be said and enforced, that's life! Dd has got very good at no herself now - 'dd, you need to put your shoes on now so we can go out', 'no thank you!'

My 16 mo (DC2) does one of two things when I say no:
a) Pause. Look at me with big eyes. Burst into inconsolable tears.
b) Pause. Look at me with a cheeky grin and dive right back into whatever it was she was doing.
The only sensible response in either scenario is to remove gently and then distract.

I got very irritated the other day watching a family member with a similar age child keep saying 'no, don't do that', 'no, don't do that', again and again and then said 'she's so disobedient, she doesn't listen to me at all'. But they never removed her (she was pressing buttons on a radio) and never offered her something else to do. They are tiny at this age. They are learning the very basic meaning of words and the ways that human beings behave. You need to teach them and not just expect them to do as you want them to. It's hilarious to them if you keep commenting on what they are doing, or alternatively, quite scary if you say something in a stern voice. They do need to learn what 'no' means - although I totally understand the view that perhaps it should only be used in genuinely serious circumstances. Personally, I'm not that self-disciplined!

Remove, distract and make areas safe for exploration - e.g. leave a couple of cupboards open in the kitchen for items they can pull out and look at. It will be messy but keeps them entertained.

Reasoning won't happen until much later on.