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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

you show me mine and I'll show me yours...

6 replies

onetwomany · 15/02/2013 03:28

Argh! I suppose I knew it would happen sooner or later but my DS who is almost 7 took me by surprise this week when we had a friend's DD over for a playdate and they disappeared into his room and were caught my be a minute later showing their private bits to each other . I'd love to know if anyone else has experience of this and what action you took. I'm not livid at all as he only has brothers and I know all children are curious. I've looked for a good book to share with him that isn't either too graphic or too babyish but to no avail. Any advice will be very gratefully received. Thanks!

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Homebird8 · 15/02/2013 06:05

This is great for a child that age

Let's Talk About...

There's an older one for children into their teens but this one is perfect for answering questions and dealing with curiosity with younger children. When mine were small (aged 4 or 5) and asking questions I chose which pages we'd look at together. Now they're bigger (10 and 8) they have free access to the whole book on their bookcase.

Clear and simple language and good pictures.

krisskross · 15/02/2013 10:50

hi op
my DS aged 5 had his first playdate after school without me yesterday, came home having had a great time.. i was delighted as he can be quite shy. then he told me he showed the other boy his willy! he thought it was hilarious and so did the other boy apparently.

i am completely mortified. should i mention it to the other mum in case her DS told her and she finds it odd. ?? What if it stops her wanting her DS to come to us? Am i overreacting?

i tried gently to tell DS that those bits are private and not to be shown at peoples houses- now i have the liberal parents worry of wanting him to behave nicely/ appropriately but not to feel any shame or embarrassment. someone help me to lighten up!

for what its worth, if another child did it in our house i would think it normal curiosity. And if they both did it, it would be fine- but only my DS- who seems to have just asked if the other boy would like to see it! aaaaggaga

Homebird8 · 15/02/2013 19:59

My DS1 aged about 5 at the time, played daddies and babies with his friend, a little girl. This involved taking the wipes from his baby baby brother's changing mat and using them to wipe his little friend. When my friend and I found them after enjoying a cuppa and a chat together. All that was said was that it was time for tea and not to waste all the wipes as I'd need them at nappy time. Perfectly normal behaviour in children of this age. And at least the little girl was clean!

plipplops · 15/02/2013 21:46

When I was about 7 I went to my friends house for a play after school, he'd had some kind of operation on his balls and showed me his scar. Then we had a kitkat (funny what you remember - 27 years ago!!) And I remember playing teachers at a similar age with my sister and a girl from school and smacking each other's (bare) bums. It's perfectly normal, I wouldn't worry too much.

I only have girls, and we've tried to teach them that generally they have to wear pants because what's covered up by their pants is private (they used to get naked all the time and I never thought about it, when they were maybe 3 and 4 we got told off in a wet play bit at the zoo for them having no clothes on so I had to actually think about it iyswim?) Also I realised I want them to understand that it is private (but not dirty or anything), so if some big boy at school/adult/whoever asked to look at/touch their bits they'd say no. Having said that I know DD1 (Y1) 'accidentally' pulls down her pants with her shorts when she's changing for PE at school and flashes her bum at the boys as they think it's funny, I figure at some point fairly soon she'll grow up enough to be mortified if that happened!

Branleuse · 15/02/2013 21:48

normal

Original poster

onetwomany · 17/02/2013 01:35

Thanks everyone, you've really put my mind at rest. Krisskross, I think I'm going to mention it to the little girl's mum (she's overseas just now, it was the grandparents I was dealing with at the time of the playdate and I didn't dare tell them!) just in case the girl tells her, I'd hate not to have 'fessed up'. Hopefully she'll be as understanding as everyone here. Thanks Homebird8 for the book recommendation, it looks great.

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