3.5 yo crying in the night

[Vivienne52]

Hello,
DD is 3.5 years old and has been a super sleeper for ages. Down at 7pm, not a grumble, light off, night night, door closed. Occasional drink in the night, no biggy. NOW when I put her to bed it is "mummy stay with me, i need you, you have to look after me, sleep with me, i need a cuddle...." and mega tears. I tell her no I have to clean up, have dinner, do the ironing, phone granny etc but she is having none of it. She cried for an hour or so in the evening yesterday and then is up in the night crying that she wants in our bed, or me in her bed "don't leave me etc...." She isn't getting out of bed, just crying really hard. PLEASE HELP. A few times I have got into bed with her for a couple of hours out of exhaustion but I so don't want to make a habit of it. And DH won't have her in our bed. And frankly we worked damn hard to establish a bedtime routine that I don't want to blow it now! Any one have any advice? Thanks in advance....

She's getting more of an awareness of the dark and maybe it scares her but she cannot articulate it? Or nightmares? I used to get horrible nightmares around that age.

Why not sit with her for a bit then tell her you're going to make dinner and you'll be back in five minutes to check. Then go back and check then say you'll be back in ten mins, then go back. So she knows you're checking and will be there so she can relax.

Or give her a night light?

My ds is like this. He's happier if we stay for a bit and we leave/come back and he is reassured that way.

Thanks for the reply. I left her door open last night and I think that helped a little bit but I was still up and down like a yoyo last night but she settled quicker. She has a nightlight but it doesn't emit much light so I will look into another one. Should I be thinking along the lines of controlled crying? Does this work for a 3 and a half year old?

I guess so - well if ds was upset, I would go back in quickly but the aim is to be leaving the room even if it's just a minute. You want to reassure them that it's ok as you are still around hence going back in.

Sorry and yes it works. Either that or gradual withdrawal. I didn't think the latter worked well so we prefer to leave then come back.

DD can be like this (she is 5). I find a star chart for sleeping through works well for her. Plus I leave the door open and the hall light on so she's not going to sleep in the dark. If she is very upset I tell her I will come back in 3 minutes, then 5 minutes etc. by the time I'm back the second visit she is usually asleep.

It's a new area for us as DC1 is a brilliant sleeper, and never did this!

Thanks ladies. It is new for me too - she has never had sleep problems. Last night I bribed her with a trip to build a bear if there was no "big crying" for 5 nights. I can see this will end up costing me a fortune!