39 month old son still doesn't get potty training - quit or persevere?

[vicsterlou]

My 3 girls all 'got' potty training in a few days aged about 2.5, so I tried my boy at that age too. Disaster. Unmentionable incident with a wetsuit on Studland beach. Quit.

Started again this week now he is 3 and 1/4. 3 days in and he shows no real interest/understanding. He never says he needs to go, or asks to go, and rarely comments if he has wet himself, just carries on playing. The fact that his twin sister has been in pants for 6 months doesn't bother him. I gave up last time after a week of absolutely no progress, and am just wondering what to do this time.

How long have other people persevered?
And what age is just too old to be allowed to 'not get it'?
And are boys really all that 'different' in this department?

Thanks in advance for help. I feel really stressed.

I would give it a rest, even just for a week or two, take the pressure off completely. Then try again. My girls got it quickly, but my November born 3 year old boy has just got it now. We were trying on and off for months and suddenly it clicked for him.

I can't offer any advice, but my DS is the same age and shows no sign of being ready. So just checking in for solidarity and advice.

Do not give up! Persevere! my Boy is also 3y and 1/4 and is exactly the same does not seem to be bothered by soiled nappies or clothes.

3 months ago, with the help of his previous nursery we started his potty training: Strictly NO NAPPIES ( but occasionally i used babby pads ) and visits to toilet +/- every 30 min. I will spend up to 10mins in toilet to wait for a "weewee" in between his screaming and crying as DS don't understand the fuss.

We had so many accidents. It is hard work(cleaning after him) and stressful specially that some nurseries wont take him!

Just 2 weeks ago something has clicked as he enjoys standing as big man to do "weewee" once taken or sent (once he shows sign).

Using toilet for No 2 is a Nightmare for him and till date has never done not even once! But I am not giving up!!!

Take a break and start again

Well I personally would see it as a sign that he isn't ready yet and give it a break. All children are different, and girls often potty train earlier than boys. My ds just wasn't interested at all, he didn't tell me when he needed to wee or poo and preferred to go in his nappy so it didn't interrupt his playing time. He never really got on with a potty at all and then when he was around 3 I started to worry that I'd never get him out of nappies. All my friends children were wearing pants! I bypassed the potty and got a cheap toilet seat for the loo - he managed to pee in there one day and found it really exciting. From that moment on it was "Can I go to the toilet?!" The advantage of toilet training late meant that he was ready, and we had next to no accidents, it was a complete breeze. We went straight to pants without needing any of those pull-ups for going out and about, and he was even dry at night - he would call out to be taken to the toilet for a wee. So I wouldn't push a child to potty train too early. So long as you can get him out of nappies before starting school!

Ps you can buy these little blue balls with smiley faces on that you drop in the toilet and get ds to use them as target practice! Ds found the idea of trying to hit one of these really amusing. They only last a few flushes before they get sucked away (or maybe we have a really powerful loo!) but I think they are cheap and you can get them from supermarkets.

None of my children, boy or girls, has got it quickly. Or rather, they seem to get it, are fine for a few weeks, then completely regress for a few years. It's like they really can't be bothered. Am stuck in the midst of it now with 3.6yo DD3 and at wits' end.

Thank everyone for your advice. I am keeping going for the time being, and noticing very very tiny signs of progress like he seems more aware now of when he has wet himself, and won't fight when we suggest the potty all the time. Changing my expectations about how quickly he will get it has helped too. Plus half term is over so back to work I go and happily for 3/7 of next week it can be other people's problem!!!

I would stop and try again in a couple of months. My DS was 3.10 yrs when I successfully potty trained him - the previous two attempts were a disaster so I left it until he was showing signs he was ready. Boys do take longer and probably not helping if you were comparing him with his sisters, especially his twin. He will get there, don't worry.